Living in one of the nation's most diverse cities presents a broad spectrum of experiences: Ethnic eateries, obscure art exhibitions, completely inaccessible HOV lanes. While absorbing this cultural mélange, the wide range of accompanying drinking states is not to be overlooked. To make sense of the confusion, I recently sat down with my RFL (Roommate for Life) and compiled this worthy list of options to sip away the majority of your leisure time:

Concert Drunk: Standing through the mediocre opening act of a band (which could be equally disappointing) at Walter's or Mango's can be one of the most excruciating experiences known to hipsterkind. The only option is to drown out the noxious sounds by smashing empty cans of PBR on the ground or the harsh crinkle of a plastic water bottle filled with "purse gin."

Interview Drunk: In this tough job market, interviews have become a daily experience for some. So why not make it a party? It's only honest to let your future employer know what a mess you are. Interview trick: Eyes open, mouth shut. It will prevent you from saying something sloppy (or vom-ing on your cover letter).

Funeral Drunk: The word "callous" isn't in my vocabulary, so there's no reason not to excuse yourself midway through the eulogy for a sip of something strong. If you're commemorating the life of a fun pal, then it's expected to get a little tipsy. Or a lot tipsy. Note: People will judge when you suggest they go home with you for the "after-party." Don't fret it — this is the time to celebrate life!

Intervention Drunk: Sometimes when your "fun friend" gets a little too fun, it's time for an intervention — which is most likely at a time when you're ripe for being cut off as well. Isn't it beautiful to take a friend aside at a bar and tell him to "get it together" as you mindlessly slump against the wall? Or if you're carrying out a full-scale rehab-bound intervention, it's a good idea to ease the pain with a blender of fruity mixed drinks.

Ex's Wedding Drunk: "We're still friends" is one of those awful phrases whose cruel reality is the most poignant at the ex's nuptials. If the event doesn't have an open bar, then you at least have the closure that it wasn't meant to be.

Coming Out Drunk: Whether it's with family or friends, letting people know what's up can be an awkward moment, so serve up your new sexual orientation on ice. Whether margaritas at Cafe Adobe (so subtle!) or a little house party, wetting one's whistle makes the hard news a little easier to swallow.

Jury Duty Drunk: For the time being, jury duty is not the most glam way to spend a morning. Accompany your early summons with a swig of an Odwalla mimosa — if you're not immediately sent home, you'll at least be arrested and completely avoid jury duty.

METRORail Drunk: I'm not talking about drinking on public transit — I got that out of my system after consuming a two-liter mixed drink I brought onto a commuter train in college (I passed out somewhere in the foothills of the Pyrenees). What I'm describing is that surprising state that follows a hard night of partying, in which you awake miraculously still intoxicated.

I admit, there have been a few Friday mornings in which I walk myself to the Museum District station, sloppily whistling and pretending that I'm not sweating mojito. Riding the rail is green, prevents drunk rush hour driving, and you're sure to make friends with the professional alcoholics who call light rail cars home.

Terminal B Drunk: The wretched middle child of George Bush International Airport, Terminal B is like an Express Jet graveyard — so why not treat it like a funeral? The terminal houses a wide array of solidly mediocre eateries, making it easy to indulge in overpriced margaritas. Don't feel bad about letting yourself go — you can always catch the next flight, and if you forget to close your tab, then you'll know exactly where you left your credit card upon your return.

Museum Drunk: In recent years, museums have been staying open late in a move to lure in twentysomethings with cocktails and culture. This is one of those nights to bring out the friend with parents on the museum board: You'll cut through the lines, save up to $3 on drinks and, best of all, be showered with stares of jealousy by your peers. Deny any accusations of a drunken hookup in the science museum's "Journey through the Earth" elevator — but definitely keep the photos.

H2 Limo Drunk: Limos have a use between prom and funerals: Nights of ironic hedonism. "My goal for 2010 is to end up in as many Hummer limos this year as possible," attests a close friend, adding, "This weekend will be number three."

You can even make a drinking game out of "Who can break the most champagne flutes?" while contemplating the joys of drinking beneath the watchful gaze of LED-laced mirrors.