Father's Day Warning
Don't get your dad a golf gift: They're worse than an Erica Rose DVD collection
It's Father's Day weekend, which means that golf gifts are flying off the shelves of many area retailers. "Golf gifts" was one of the top Internet searches over the last several days.
To which I can only say ... DON'T DO IT!
Save your dad, your father-in-law, your grandpa, your husband, whoever from having to feign excitement over something from what's largely the worst collective gift category ever dreamed up. Golf gifts are universally horrifically bad — and no one hates them more than real golfers. Yet, non-golfers cannot help but turn to a bad golf gift — and this is pretty much an oxymoron, they're almost all bad — whenever they need a gift for anyone they know who golfs.
Now, if you're going to give dad a golf trip to some exotic location like St. Andrews or Pebble Beach — or even one to sort of a cheesy one like Myrtle Beach — by all means, go ahead. Or even just an afternoon at a local course. Golfers love to actually play golf.
If you want to seem like you're in the know, book a package to Erin Hills — the out-of-the-way Wisconsin course that was just awarded the 2017 U.S. Open or Seattle-area wonder Chambers Bay. Every real golfer has known about Erin Hills and Chambers Bay for years, but you'll still seem light years ahead of your fellow non-golfing gifters.
If you don't have the means to drop that kind of gift and you're still fixated on going with a "golf gift," a pack of Pro V1s are acceptable. Don't make the mistake of thinking that you can determine what a good golf ball is by looking at the packaging. Pro V1s are essentially the only safe ball gift for any golfer. No one's ever turned down Pro Vs no matter their skill level or income status.
And that's your complete rundown of good golf gifts.
Everything else ... stay completely away from.
Especially, the unwearable T-shirts, the ridiculous gag items, the vomit-inducing "inspirational" plaques and the self-righteous, amazingly-wordy books that dominate the golf gift category.
No golfer wants to receive any of these things. And if you claim otherwise, you should show up unannounced at your victim ... er, gift receiver's ... house and see where your collection of golf gifts usually resides.
Every golfer I know has a bunch of completely useless golf gifts stuffed away in the corner of a garage, the back of a closet or up in an attic. When I took a job at WorldGolf.com in the early 2000s, my mom and dad suddenly decided that I needed "golf gifts" — even though I'd golfed for years before. So suddenly, every Christmas and birthday would bring shirts that could only be used as rags, plaques that were reserved for door props and books that we're never opened.
It doesn't matter how much you think you knowthe golfer in your life. You don't if you're ever getting him or her a golf gift.
Think of the most sophisticated golfer you know, the guy who's more than a little stuck up, the guy who needs to prove to you how smart he is. You'd be better off giving even that guy an Erica Rose DVD collection that includes a free lifesized poster of Erica's dog (they really should make this!) rather than a golf gift.