This Week in Hating
Primping for the pool: Lounging shouldn't be a fashion show
Ever wonder why so many girls insist on covering up their entire faces with sunglasses made to look like bug eyes?
It's because it takes a lot of effort to look presentable pool-side, and high-rise and apartment-complex living means catching some rays without a crowd of 50-plus observers is a thing of the past. (It's almost enough to make you hit your parents' house — almost).
Suddenly, trying to get your tan on is an unsolicited social event, and you find yourself applying eyeliner and anti-frizz just to go lay out in what should be the comfort of your own home.
And no matter how cute you manage to look when you tote your summer reading out to the chaise lounge, it's nearly impossible to maintain. Between the water and the sweat (that's what happens when you deliberately lay in direct sunlight) you look like it's been five days since you've seen a shower, even if it's only been three. And if tanning oil gets into your tresses, forget it. No amount of dry shampoo can save you.
When all you want to do is relax with your trashy summer literature and sweat out your hangover, hordes of beer-bonging partiers and girls prancing around in sky-high wedges is not the optimal scenery.
Luckily, I got myself a house-sitting gig this summer with a private pool in a fenced-in backyard. I cannot WAIT to be the cool kid with the pool (I missed my chance in childhood, my parents opted for the far less glamorous trampoline).
Sure, it'll be nice to have Spring Break-style rager access when I want it, but I can't wait to have the girls over for grody tan seshes where we can be unwashed, unshaven and generally unkempt. Just no cameras.