best winter lights

Houston's most spectacular winter light shows dazzle for the holidays

The cool temps, the pumpkin spice, the Christmas decorations — the holidays are here. That means it’s the perfect time to don a winter coat and stroll through some dazzling, sparkling holiday light displays around town.

From cosmic Christmas at Space Center Houston to a wild affair at the Houston Zoo to a wondrous spectacle at Houston Botanic Garden, these 12 events are sure to light up Yuletime.

Dasher's Lightshow
Formerly Rudolph's Lightshow (all the reindeer will get a turn helming this), this drive-thru light show includes light tunnels, snowmen and acres of land. These lights will also be merrily synced to your favorite holiday tunes. Runs through December 31. 6 pm.

Galaxy Lights at Space Center Houston
Space Center Houston’s holiday light extravaganza returns for its third year with exciting new wonders. Guests will experience two high-tech, kinetic light shows where dozens of suspended lights move in precise choreographed sequences to music above the Main Plaza. Runs through January 2. 6 pm.

The Galleria Christmas Tree
The 55-foot tree just had its ceremonial lighting, featuring 450,000 twinkling lights and 5,000 ornaments in a variety of colors and shapes. The installation took more than 24 hours of work by 45 men and women. And don't forget about the 1,000 branches that were hand-fluffed! 10 am.

Holiday in the Gardens at Moody Gardens
Moody Gardens is once again bringing out all the good stuff this holiday season. Look for the Festival of Lights, holiday 3-D films, an arctic slide, train rides, pictures with Santa, and nightly fireside s'mores. Runs through January 2. 4 pm.

Holiday Lights in Clay Family Eastern Glades
This spectacle will feature oversized ornaments, tinsel-wrapped light poles, and colorful tree lights. This year, the holiday light display will make its way around the Eastern Glades’ entire half-mile, Promenade natural surface pedestrian path, encircling nine acres of open space, native plantings, and habitat. Runs through January 3. 6 pm.

The Light Park
This park features a large, animated holiday light show along with the world’s largest 700-foot animated LED tunnels. The parks, with locations both in Spring and Katy, feature a unique light show synced and choreographed to holiday music on a dedicated music station, K-GLO, the North Pole’s No. 1 hit radio station. Runs through January 2. 5:30 pm.

Lightscape at Houston Botanic Garden
Get ready to enjoy magical light displays set along a beautifully illuminated path winding through the Garden this holiday season. The captivating illuminations — including installations unique to Texas created by local and international artists — will dazzle the senses. Runs through January 2. 5:45 pm.

Magical Winter Lights
Over at Baytown's Houston Raceway, this will feature such landmarks as the entrance castle, dinosaur exhibits, and Houston’s beloved displays. Family-friendly experiences include the Santa and Mrs. Claus meet and greet, Ice Sisters meet and greet, cultural performances, carnival rides, food and games, music, and dino rides. Runs through January 2. 5 pm.

Marriott Marquis Houston presents Texas Winter Lights
This interactive light experience will feature light displays, walk-through experiences, and selfie stations. There will be a nostalgic holiday-themed movie every Thursday, nightly snowfall, and a winter-themed dining menu filled with signature cocktails, dinner, and dessert. Runs through January 3. 5 pm.

Sugar Land Holiday Lights
Sugar Land promised to dazzle with more than three million lights, eight themed areas, holiday shopping, great food, holiday movie nights, a carnival, appearances from Santa and much more. Runs through January 9. 6 pm.

Winter Wanderland
This event kicks off on November 19 with a program at 6 pm at City Hall, facing Bagby. After the short program, where they will turn on the holiday lights (100,000 twinklng LED lights installed between Lamar & Franklin!), stroll down the newly renovated corridor and experience tons of activities along the way. Runs through January 2. 6:30 pm.

Zoo Lights at Houston Zoo
Head over to Houston Zoo as they celebrate 10 years as one of Houston’s best loved holiday traditions. Stroll through the beautiful zoo grounds as you take in the sights and sounds this holiday season. (The zoo animals will be enjoying a full night’s slumber.) Runs through January 9. 5:30 pm.

Moody Gardens shines with its Festival of Lights.

Photo courtesy of Galveston Island Convention & Visitors Bureau

Moody Gardens shines with its Festival of Lights.

holidays event-planner

Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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