Finding a surprising lack of Osteen's comedic work on the book market, Christian writer Don Pasco decided to take matters into his own hands and self publish a collection of the Osteen's greatest hits.
For a mere $2.99, fans now can get some of Osteen's best material in a single Amazon e-book.
Highlights include the one about the burglar who was told by a parrot that "Jesus was watching" as he tries to steal a stereo.
Parrot: I'm just trying to warn you. Burglar: Warn me about what? Who are you? Parrot: My name is Moses. Burglar: What kind of crazy people would name a parrot Moses? Parrot: The same kind of people that would name a 150-pound Rottweiler, "Jesus."
The book squeezes in two dozen more gems that manage to lampoon everyone from kindergartners to senior citizens. Not even the late Pope John Paul II escapes Osteen's quick wit.
Pasco — a Baltimore native who "played drums and sang in a Top 40 band" during the 1970s, according to his Amazon bio — clearly states that the book is "for entertainment purposes only."
Unfortunately, Osteen's legal team sees little humor in the unauthorized enterprise. Lakewood Church is reviewing the book for possible copyright infringements.
Houston pastor and comedian Joel Osteen is the subject of a new unauthorized joke book.
WGNMagazine
Houston pastor and comedian Joel Osteen is the subject of a new unauthorized joke book.
In a time when true movie stars seem to be going extinct, Timothée Chalamet has emerged as an exception to the rule. Since 2021 he has headlined blockbusters like the two Dune movies and Wonka, and also earned an Oscar nomination for playing Bob Dylan in A Complete Unknown (his second nomination following 2018’s Call Me By Your Name). Now, he’s almost assured to get his third nomination for the stellar new film, Marty Supreme.
Chalamet plays Marty Mauser, a world-class table tennis player living in New York. But reducing Marty to his best skill doesn’t do him justice, as he’s also a motormouth schemer who will do almost anything to achieve his dreams. He doesn’t have any qualms about wooing married women like neighbor Rachel (Odessa A’zion) or actress Kay Stone (Gwyneth Paltrow), or hiding his true ping pong skills to win money in scams with friends like Wally (Tyler the Creator).
Marty is seemingly on the go the entire movie, whether it’s trying to convince Kay’s millionaire husband Milton Rockwell (Kevin O’Leary) to fund his table tennis ambitions; or trying to track down the dog of Ezra (Abel Ferrara), a man he accidentally injures; or trying to avoid the ire of the boss at the shoe store where he works. Just when you think he might slow down, he’s off to the races on another plan or adventure.
Directed by Josh Safdie and written by Safdie and frequent co-writer Ronald Bronstein, the film is an almost continuous blast of pure energy for 2 ½ hours. So many different things happen over the course of the film that the story defies conventional narratives, and yet the throughline of Marty keeps everything tightly connected. His particular type of brash behavior turns much of the film into a comedy as he does and says things that are both shocking and thrilling.
Another thing that makes the movie sing is the fantastic characterization by Safdie and Bronstein. Almost every person who is given a speaking line in the film has a moment where they pop, which speaks to airtight dialogue that the writers have created. Characters will be introduced and then disappear for long stretches of time, and yet because they make such an impression the first time they’re on screen, it’s easy to pick up their thread right away.
Safdie, as he’s done previously with brother Bennie (Uncut Gems), calls on a host of well-known non-actors or people with interesting faces/vibes to inhabit supporting roles, and to a person they are crucial to the film’s success. O’Leary (of Shark Tank fame), rapper Tyler the Creator, director Ferrara, magician Penn Jillette, and fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi each deliver knockout performances. The relative unknowns who play smaller roles are just as impressive, making each beat of the film feel naturalistic.
Leading the way is the powerhouse performance by Chalamet. For one person to believably play both the famously reserved Dylan and also a firecracker like Marty is astonishing, and this role cements Chalamet’s status as his generation’s movie star. A’zion is a rising star who gets great moments as Marty’s on-again/off-again love interest. Paltrow pops in and out of the film, lighting up the screen every time she appears. Fran Drescher as Marty’s mom and Sandra Bernhard as a neighbor also pay dividends in small roles.
Josh Safdie’s first solo directorial effort is unlike any other movie this year, or maybe even this century. Thanks to its breakneck storytelling, a magnificent performance by Chalamet, and countless intangibles that Safdie employs expertly, the film smacks viewers in the face repeatedly and demands that they come back for more.
