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    Control The Board

    Game of Thrones isn't done shocking with death: Red Wedding reverberates with winners, losers

    Tarra Gaines
    Jun 10, 2013 | 12:58 am

    In just 10 episodes, season three of Game of Thrones accomplished much onscreen and almost as much off screen. Inside the show, thanks to what may be the worst wedding reception in television history, we lost two key Stark players and most of their winning army. This also meant stalemates were broken and we finally have some movement on the game board.

    Off screen Game of Thrones reached near Sopranos level ratings, garnered the ultimate pop culture arrival notice — Red Wedding jokes on late night talk shows — and created a whole new YouTube genre: Red Wedding reactions videos.

    But as I’ve argued, this years-long game is more like a tournament, so let’s check the brackets and see who’s ahead after round three.

    Westeros Division

    Starks vs. Lannisters
    Winner: Lannisters
    The Starks, who are always strongest when they are together, are now either dead or scattered to those winter-is-coming winds with even young Bran and Rickon separating this season. The only glimmer of hope is that the Lannisters despise each other, and are always their own worst enemies.

    Now that they’re all stuck in the same castle listening to sadist King Joffrey’s tantrums, we wonder what could possibly go wrong.

    Lannisters vs. Tyrells
    Winner: Tossup
    Still aligned by the engagement of King Joffrey and Margaery, the Tyrell’s are a bit like a more civilized, PR-savvy version of the Lannisters. They don’t appear to underestimate the Lannisters, but the opposite is debatable.

    Lannisters vs. Stannis Baratheon
    Winner: Lannisters because of forfeiture by Stannis
    After his season two loss at the Battle of Blackwater, Stannis attempted an end run around conventional warfare and used magic wielded by his priestess/political consultant Melisandre to kill his enemies. In the final episode this season, word from the desperate Night Watch gave a hint the Stannis might be ready to head north with a new army. Good luck to Stannis as he switches divisions.

    Essos Division

    Daenerys Targaryen vs. the institution of slavery
    Winner: Dany
    She’s no closer to getting on a boat bound for Westeros to reclaim the throne for the Targaryen line, but her army-raising techniques put her motherland to shame.

    Possible weakness? Dany’s dragons will be becoming teenagers soon, and three moody, surly dragons who just want to be left alooone, might be hard for a single mom to manage.

    Northern Division

    The Night Watch vs. The Wildlings vs. the White Walkers
    Winner: Um, no idea . . . Samwell? Maybe that tree with a human face?

    We still don’t know what the White Walkers want. Most of the Night Watch members beyond the Wall were killed by ice zombies or have mutinied. We haven’t seen the Wildlings' king Mance Rayder since episode three. The only thing we do know for certain is that dragon glass can kill a White Walker, in Westeros even trees have their own army (of ravens) and pouty Jon Snow’s sex god status didn’t prevent him from getting his ass shot by his girlfriend.

    Let’s face it, this division is a mess. Still, Iceland is beautiful.

    So now that we’re reviewed the winners and losers, let’s give out some awards to our MVPs and best plays.

    Best God
    Season three gave us a better glimpse of how the Game of Thrones faiths and religions motivate some of the characters. Some denominations demand human sacrifice; some can resurrect the dead. Some magic out there can even create a zombie army.

    But Arya Stark’s proclamation that Death is her god illustrates the kid knows a winning god for this show when she see it.

    Most Ironic Foreshadowing
    Robb Stark lobs off Rickard Karstark’s head, as demanded by honor and the rule of law. He then loses the support of many of the Northern lords which hastens his death by episode nine. Who else lobbed off someone’s head for honor’s sake when, if not for mercy, than at least for pragmatism he might have called a decapitation waiting period to assess the situation?

    Oh yeah, Rob’s father Ned who ended up dead in season one, episode nine.

    Best Dame
    The older, regal woman who has seen it all and is usually played by a knighted, classically trained British actress, is one of the hottest archetypes in pop culture right now. She’s quite bored with the other characters’ shit but can strategize everyone under the table.

    We know this is a controversial decision, but we’re going to have to give this to Downton Abbey’s Dowager Countess of Grantham.

    Yes, Dame Diana Rigg made a strong initial showing as Olenna Tyrell the Tyrell matriarch, but she did have limited screen time. We do look forward to Olenna’s future sword sharp quips.

    Weirdest Theme
    Dany’s ex-slave, eunuch super army, Varys, one of Westeros’s greatest power brokers, and even Westeros’s greatest swordsman, Jamie Lannister, who went through a kind of symbolic castration when his hand was chopped off, all ended up either more powerful or experienced personal growth after brutally losing their manhood.

    Now we’re left to wonder what Theon, who was one of the most whiny, daddy-issues riddled characters on the show, will be transformed into after living through the ultimate torture.

    Best bilingual character.
    If the Red Wedding gave audiences the most horrific moment, Dany’s “Oh by the way I speak fluent Valyrian. Now, I’m going to liberate all your warrior slaves and let my dragon toast you. Who’s the bitch now, Bitch?” gave us maybe the best “Hell yeah!” moment of the whole series.

    We’re going to hold on to that image and not wolf head dead Robb because we’d liked to get some sleep the nine months we impatiently await round four of the Game of Thrones.

    Daenerys Targaryen and her army of liberated slaves

    Game of Thrones
      
    HBO.com
    Daenerys Targaryen and her army of liberated slaves
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    Movie Review

    Ben Affleck cooks the books in chaotic sequel The Accountant 2

    Alex Bentley
    Apr 24, 2025 | 2:30 pm
    Jon Bernthal and Ben Affleck in The Accountant 2
    Photo by Warrick Page/Prime
    Jon Bernthal and Ben Affleck in The Accountant 2.

    In this Hollywood era of franchises, finding one to call their own is a priority for many movie stars. Over 30 years into his career, Ben Affleck had yet to find one; he did star as Batman in multiple movies, but that role has been interchangeable. He seemed to get a prime action hero role with 2016’s The Accountant, but somehow it’s taken nine years for The Accountant 2 to come out.

    Affleck’s character of Christian Wolff is a high-functioning autistic man whose abilities to comb through mounds of data quickly and efficiently are matched only by his fighting skills. When Ray King (J.K. Simmons), a former Treasury agent who had previously hunted Christian, is murdered, King’s replacement, Marybeth Medina (Cynthia Addai-Robinson), calls on Christian to help figure out what happened and track down his killer.

    The search quickly finds multiple criminal conspiracies, including a hitman ring, a scheme to abduct migrants, and more. Naturally, Wolff claims to need help in the endeavor, so his mercenary brother Braxton (Jon Bernthal) soon joins in on the quest. The two brothers work together to figure out the puzzle while also stopping to have some fun every now and then.

    Directed by Gavin O’Connor and written by Bill Dubuque (both returning from the original), the film feels like it is missing many connective scenes. It often starts down one road and seems to be making good progress when it suddenly veers into another storytelling lane with no explanation. This happens multiple times throughout the film, to the point that it becomes almost impossible to tell what the main story is supposed to be.

    In the first film, the oddity of having an autistic math genius also being a world-class marksman and fighter somehow made sense. This film leans much more into Christian’s physical skills, with the autistic side of things showing up in his (mostly) emotionless demeanor. While that works to a certain degree, the choppiness of the story undercuts the character traits that Affleck does his best to impart.

    The best examples of the messiness of the film come in the multiple scenes that serve as nothing more than comic relief, with not even an attempt at connecting them to the main plot, such as it is. Two of them involve Christian proving himself to be a ladies man despite his lack of conversational skills, both of which fall flat as they seem to be making fun of his autism rather than highlighting positive aspects of it. Each of the comic scenes is so disparate in tone from the rest of the film that they essentially bring the story to a screeching halt.

    Affleck is fine in the part, although he’s much better when Christian turns toward action hero mode than when he has to display the character’s autistic traits. Bernthal is great at being an over-the-top macho guy, and he gets to indulge that side of him throughout the film. Addai-Robinson is disserved by a role that doesn’t give her character any autonomy despite her high-powered position.

    Affleck’s career has been one of the most up-and-down ones of any supposed A-list actor, and The Accountant 2 marks another down moment for him. He may have finally gotten his first sequel for a film in which he’s the main character, but don’t expect there to be a third installment.

    ---

    The Accountant 2 opens in theaters on April 25.

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