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Movie Review

Godzilla: King of the Monsters self-destructs with incoherence

Alex Bentley
May 31, 2019 | 4:00 pm
Godzilla: King of the Monsters self-destructs with incoherence
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Godzilla is one of those movie creatures who will never truly die. First dreamed up in Japan in 1954 at the height of the Atomic Age, the nuclear-powered monster has unleashed destruction in more than 30 Japanese productions and three American productions, including the new Godzilla: King of the Monsters.

Taking place five years after the events in 2014’s Godzilla, the basic gist of the film is that a group named Monarch is tasked with studying and keeping at bay the group of 17 monsters that have been found around the globe. A rival group believes the monsters should be released, letting “nature” take its course however it may. I’ll give you one guess as to which group wins that battle.

As a result, monsters like the three-headed dragon King Ghidorah, giant moth Mothra, and pterodactyl-esque Rodan proceed to wreak havoc as only giant monsters can. It’s up to the movie’s plucky group of humans to bring an end to the havoc, and this time they’ll need the help of Godzilla in order to do so.

No one goes into a Godzilla movie expecting high art, but it’s still stunning how incoherent the movie truly is. The plot, such as it is, devolves into a rambling mess almost from minute one. That leaves the epic clashes between the monsters to carry the day, but even those are just a mish-mash of special effects where it’s next to impossible to tell what’s going on until the battle is over.

One of the only things keeping the film afloat is the general watchability of its laundry list of movie stars. The cast, which has five Oscar nominations among them, includes Kyle Chandler, Vera Farmiga, Millie Bobby Brown, Ken Watanabe, Ziyi Zhang, Bradley Whitford, Sally Hawkins, Charles Dance, Thomas Middleditch, Aisha Hinds, O’Shea Jackson, Jr., Anthony Ramos, and David Straithairn. All of them deserve better than the material they’re performing, but each of them also elevates it in one way or another.

Points do go to the filmmakers, led by writer/director Michael Dougherty and co-writer Zach Shields, for keeping the visible human death toll to a minimum. Action films too often wantonly destroy cities with seemingly no regard for the thousands of deaths that destruction would cause. In this film, two of the biggest scenes take place in Antarctica and in the middle of the ocean, taking humans mostly out of the equation.

Fun could also be had in watching the film by playing a “spot the reference” game. Only four monsters are truly showcased, but Godzilla superfans will no doubt relish either the appearances or allusions to other monsters from the franchise’s history. There are also a handful of references to Skull Island, which harkens back to 2017’s Kong: Skull Island and also hints at what’s to come in the already-forthcoming sequel, 2020’s Godzilla vs. Kong.

It’s difficult to know what could make Godzilla: King of the Monsters a truly enjoyable film, but a start would be to focus on what everyone wants to see — the monsters — and leave the tricky plot mechanics for pretty much any other movie.

Vera Farmiga and Millie Bobby Brown in Godzilla: King of the Monsters.

Vera Farmiga and Millie Bobby Brown in Godzilla: King of the Monsters
Photo by Daniel McFadden
Vera Farmiga and Millie Bobby Brown in Godzilla: King of the Monsters.
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Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Alex Bentley
Dec 26, 2025 | 2:30 pm
Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda
Photo by Matt Grace
Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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