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    Movie Review

    John Wick: Chapter 3 — Parabellum doesn't know when to say when

    Alex Bentley
    May 16, 2019 | 4:30 pm
    John Wick: Chapter 3 — Parabellum doesn't know when to say when
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    The best movie experiences are often the ones that surprise you the most. When John Wick came out in 2014, star Keanu Reeves was far removed from the highs of The Matrix trilogy, and not much was expected from the relatively small film. The visceral nature of the unrelentingly violent movie won over critics and moviegoers, though, and now here we are with the third film in the series, John Wick: Chapter 3 — Parabellum.

    Picking up directly in the aftermath of the second film, Wick (Reeves) has been declared “excommunicado” from the hitman syndicate known as The High Table after killing another hitman on the property of The Continental Hotel, normally a safe zone for anyone in the group. Every hitman in New York City and beyond is now on the hunt for Wick to collect the $14 million bounty put on his head.

    Unable to rely on friends like The Continental’s manager, Winston (Ian McShane), or Bowery King (Laurence Fishburne), Wick must go far and wide to avoid being killed. Among the people he encounters in this search are The Director (Anjelica Huston), who leads a Russian gang, and Sofia (Halle Berry), an old friend with a penchant for using her two dogs in attacks.

    Early on, director Chad Stahelski and the quartet of writers do what the John Wick films have always done best: Pile up the body count in as many unique ways as they can. Thus, potential assassins get killed by Wick via a flurry of knives, samurai swords, point blank gunshots, and, most memorably, a book. The inherent unreal nature of the series allows the filmmakers to get away with gratuitous killings for which other films would rightly be criticized.

    But, in perhaps the perceived need to keep expanding the series’ narrative, the film devolves into a variety of complex side stories that slow the plot way down. After a figurative and literal breakneck first 20 minutes, the film noticeably drags for the remainder of its 130-minute running time. This even goes for the action scenes, as Stahelski and his team don’t seem to grasp when enough is enough, keeping fight scenes going well past the point of being interesting.

    As with the other films, the world of John Wick intrigues with its religious symbolism and stylized characters and buildings. Words like “excommunicado” and “deconsecrated” are straight out of the Catholic Church, and Latin words like the one in the title (which means “Prepare for war”) are sprinkled throughout. Other things, like the heavily tattooed and pierced group tasked with assigning hit jobs, a new character called The Adjudicator (Asia Kate Dillon), and the mix of modern and old buildings, are designed to constantly catch the eyes of audiences.

    Although actors like Reeves, Berry, and Fishburne tend to go over-the-top with their characters, the film balances them out with the relatively subtle performances of McShane and Lance Reddick. Dillon is also reserved, but perhaps a little too much, as their character could have used a bit more menace.

    The third chapter in the John Wick series shows the toll a story can take once filmmakers have to stretch it out beyond its natural ending. A series that was once praised for its simplicity is now too convoluted for its own good.

    Halle Berry in John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum.

    Halle Berry in John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum
    Photo by Mark Rogers
    Halle Berry in John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum.
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    Movie Review

    Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

    Alex Bentley
    Dec 26, 2025 | 2:30 pm
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda
    Photo by Matt Grace
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

    In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

    The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

    Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

    Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

    The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

    It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

    Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

    Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

    ---

    Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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