weekend event planner

Here are the top 8 things to do in Houston this weekend

It's time for the Chevron Houston Marathon.

Photo courtesy of Chevron Houston Marathon

A lot of heavy comedy hitters will be in and around Houston this weekend.

On Thursday, Earthquake starts a four-night-stint of making 'em laugh at the Improv. On Friday, Arnez J, Tommy Davidson and others will be doing the Black Laughs Matters show at NRG Arena.

Saturday gives us a twofer: Dave Attell and Jeff Ross will be doing their Bumping Mics shtick at Revention Music Center, while Lewis Black will be ranting and raving at Cullen Performance Hall.

Finally, Kathleen Madigan will be closing things out with her regular-jane humor, also at Revention Music Center.

And then, there's a host of great fun this weekend:

Thursday, January 16

Charlaine Harris at Murder by the Book
Charlaine Harris will always be known as the writer who wrote The Southern Vampire Mysteries, the Gothic horror page-turners that were adapted into that supernatural HBO orgy known as True Blood. But she has also dropped several other series of books. The latest one she's been doing is the Gunnie Rose series, starting with An Easy Death in 2018. Harris will be in town to sign copies of the latest installment, A Longer Fall, where protagonist/gunslinger Lizbeth Rose transports a mysterious crate through Dixie. 6:30 pm.

Legend at Alamo Drafthouse LaCenterra
Once upon a time, Tom Cruise wasn't this Scientologist movie star who keeps making Mission: Impossible movies to prove that, even though he's pushing 60, he can still do death-defying stunts. Back in the ’80s, he was a matinee idol, the kind of heartthrob who made young girls (who are now, probably, your mommas) swoon. And he did it while starring in movies like this, a bit of 1985 dark fantasy from Ridley Scott. Cruise plays a hunky dude who must stop the Prince of Darkness (Tim Curry) from covering the world with eternal night. 7:30 pm.

Friday, January 17

Diamond Dreams Gala at Minute Maid Park
It's Diamond Dreams Gala time, presented by Chevron and the Astros Foundation, held on the field of Minute Maid Park. Lionel Richie will be the special guest performer, so you know you'll get some "Easy," some "All Night Long," maybe even some "Dancing on the Ceiling." (It would be nice if we also got "Love Will Find a Way" — aka our favorite solo Richie song.) Astros players and legends will also be on hand. Proceeds from the gala will benefit New Hope Housing and the Astros Foundation. 5:30 pm.

The Host at Landmark River Oaks
For those Parasite fans who are psyched that the black-comic thriller has been nominated for a bunch of Oscars this week, you may wanna check this out this film from the same director, Bong Joon-ho, that'll be this weekend's midnight movie at the River Oaks. This 2006 spin on the monster-movie genre is about a family of misfits who attempt to take down a strange amphibious creature that has taken the daughter of one of the family members. Since this is Bong, expect this movie to be more than just a creature feature. 11:59 pm.

Saturday, January 18

Gulf Coast Model Expo at Lone Star Flight Museum
As Steve Martin would say, things will get really small over at this second-annual model expo. See hundreds of scale model aircraft, cars, tanks, trucks, spacecraft, ships, and more. And to commemorate the 75th Anniversary of the end of World War II, a special display of models related to the last nine months of the war, from January 1, 1945 to September 2 — VJ Day — will showcase the men and machines of the war's end. The public can also bring their models and share their work with museum visitors. 10 am-4 pm.

Enrique Martínez Celaya: The Sword or the Road at Nancy Littlejohn Fine Art
Los Angeles-based artist Enrique Martínez Celaya has had his work featured in collections at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston and has done projects in London, Berlin and other swanky, international locales. But, in his first solo project in Houston, Martínez Celaya will be officially introducing himself to the Texas art world by showing off the nuanced, psychologically charged and symbolism-rich paintings and sculptures that he's been doing since the early '90s. Runs through February 29. 6-8 pm.

Sunday, January 19

Chevron Houston Marathon
There will be a lot of things popping before we get to the Chevron Houston Marathon on Sunday. On Thursday, there's the Shake Out Run with Olympic athlete Meb Keflezighi. On Friday, we got the Houston Marathon Health & Fitness EXPO over at George R. Brown Convention Center. And, on Saturday, there's the We Are America 5K Race, along with the RunFest over at Discovery Green. But the main event will still be the marathon, going down on Congress and San Jacinto. (And don't forget about the half marathon.) 9 am-noon.

Giving Voice: Lawrence Brownlee and Friends Sing Opera, Gospel, and Standards at Wortham Theater Center
Houston Grand Opera and world-renowned tenor Lawrence Brownlee bring together a bunch of international stars for a one-night-only concert event. Audiences will be treated to a program that ranges from opera classics to spirituals, gospel and standards. The special guests will be J’Nai Bridges, Nicole Heaston, Reginald Smith Jr., Russell Thomas, Nicholas Newton, and Kevin Miller on piano. All concert guests will be invited to mix and mingle with the artists following the performance. 5 pm.

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Movie Review

Action-packed Kraven the Hunter showcases gritty Marvel antihero

Photo by Jay Maidment

Aaron Taylor-Johnson in Kraven the Hunter.

One of the oddest things about the blockbuster era we live in is that while Disney owns the rights to the majority of Marvel comic book characters, Sony Pictures owns the rights to Spider-Man and any affiliated characters. Since they’re sharing Spider-Man himself with Disney, Sony has been trying to capitalize on those rights by making stand-alone films using niche characters that only comic book fanatics would know.

Having exhausted Venom and whiffed on attempts with Morbius and Madame Web, they’re trying again with Kraven the Hunter. Also known as Sergei Kravinoff, Kraven (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) is a self-styled vigilante who, as the film tells it, travels the world exacting vengeance on the truly bad people of the world. He’s the son of Nikolai (Russell Crowe), a hard-edged Russian oligarch, and brother to Dmitri (Fred Hechinger), who is relatively weak compared to the rest of his family.

The origin story has Kraven gaining his animal-like powers - including super-strength, speed, and jumping abilities - as a teenager from a mysterious serum given to him by a girl named Calypso (played as an adult by Ariana DeBose) after he was mauled by a lion. The two maintain a tenuous partnership as adults, with Calypso helping him hunt down other villains like Aleksei Sytsevich (Alessandro Nivola) and The Foreigner (Christopher Abbott).

Directed by J.C. Chandor and written by Richard Wenk, Art Marcum, and Matt Holloway, the film looks and feels enormously lazy, something made merely to hold on to potentially valuable intellectual property. Other than the tense family dynamic between the Kravinovs, little makes sense in the story. Kraven has an indecipherable moral code that has him going after poachers - because he’s part lion? - in addition to other high-powered criminals, with no clear goal except to … get back at his father?

The laziness extends to the action scenes, which feature Kraven being mostly impervious to any damage, whether it’s hand-to-hand combat, knives, or guns. The CGI-heavy scenes don’t even allow moviegoers to enjoy an R-rated bloody free-for-all, as all of the blood splatter is computer-generated, too. Since apparently one Spider-Man villain is not enough, three others make appearances with abilities that are under-explained and CGI that is poorly done.

That’s not even counting Calypso, another Spider-Man villain whose purpose in this film is nebulous at best. Her early connection with Kraven is so coincidental as to be laughable, and her continued reasons for helping him as an adult strain credulity as well. The only saving grace of her presence is that the filmmakers don’t try to shoehorn romance into the plot; perhaps they’re saving that for the (inevitable?) sequel.

Taylor-Johnson has had one of the most prolific-yet-anonymous careers in modern Hollywood, with appearances in big films like The Fall Guy, Bullet Train, and Tenet that have made very little impact. Even as the star here, he fails to hold your attention, with the story and visuals doing him no favors. DeBose has followed up her Oscar win for West Side Story with schlock like I.S.S., Argylle, and this, which doesn’t bode well for her career. At least Crowe gets to chew the scenery.

With a contractual inability to mention the name “Spider-Man,” movies like Kraven the Hunter exist in a weird area that forces filmmakers to make up stories for characters to which most people have no attachment. And just like Sony’s previous efforts, it is a very poor way to spend two hours in a movie theater; avoid at all costs.

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Kraven the Hunter opens in theaters on December 13.

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