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    The Do's and Don't of Love

    Why you should date the "crazy girl" after all

    Jennifer Patterson
    Mar 6, 2011 | 6:20 pm
    • OK, she's mostly just crazy flexible, but the premise still applies.
    • No matter who you take a chance on dating, there's no chance she'll be as crazyas your ex-girlfriend. Really ...

    I’ve had some disappointing dates. For reference, my best Valentine's Day ever, the guy I was seeing showed up to my apartment with a half drunk bottle of Ste. Genevieve and took me to see a band. (Well, tried to take me. We were promptly kicked out for being too drunk/ underage.)

    Yes, it was all downhill from there. I peaked at Ste. Genevieve.

    After letdown after letdown, I began compiling some fail-proof reasons I’d make an ideal girlfriend. It's been in the works for half a decade. I originally intended it as a PowerPoint presentation complete with animated gifs, flying numbers and lots of the “dissolve” effect. (Love that effect!)

    For brevity’s sake, I’ve resorted to list form and narrowed down my 100-some reasons to a lucky 13 best.

    Why You Should Pick Me (or a disappointed girl like me) as Your Date:

    1. I'm in pretty good shape, so I can keep up when we're running from the cops.
    2. I don't have the AIDS.
    3. I'm not your ex-girlfriend. What a crazy bitch she turned out to be.
    4. I "get" you.
    5. If I don't "get" you, I will pretend to really convincingly.
    6. Want the secret of life? Good, because I have it.
    7. Four words: Master of computer FreeCell.
    8. I got fourth place in my eighth grade science fair!
    9. I'm great with kids.
    10. OK that's a lie, keep them away from me.
    11. I can make us friendship bracelets ... for FREE!
    12. I have spectacular taste in music, so you don't have to bother making me mixed tapes or introducing me to whatever "great" bands you like.
    13. I'm pretty flaky, so you won't have to sacrifice any of your alone time for me.

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    freedom plane tour

    Houston museum showcases founding American documents at limited-time exhibit

    Jef Rouner
    May 8, 2026 | 9:15 am
    A photo of the founding documents Freedom Plane exhibit at the housotn Musuem of Natural Science
    Photo by Michael Rathke
    A rare engraving of the Declaration of Independence is one of the documents on display.

    As the United States celebrates its 250th birthday, Houstonians have a chance to see rare documents from the founding of the nation. Freedom Plane National Tour: Documents That Forged a Nation, presented by the National Archives Foundation, will be on display at the Houston Museum of Natural Science through Monday, May 25.

    Admission is free to the public, but is not part of general admission to the museum. Space is limited, and passes are available on a first-come-first-serve basis. Non-members should expect long waits or the possibility that the day's passes are sold out. Only museum members can reserve passes for specific times. Flash photography is prohibited due to the fragile nature of the documents.

    The collection includes a rare engraving of the original Declaration of Independence; official Oaths of Allegiance signed by George Washington, Aaron Burr, and Alexander Hamilton; one of the drafts of the Bill of Rights; Treaty of Paris, the documented that recognized America's independence from Great Britain; and the tally of votes approving the Constitution.

    The national Archives specifically chose Houston as one of only eight cities in the country to host the exhibit as a means to help the documents reach a wider audience outside of the main hub of semiquincentennial events in New England and the Washington D.C. area.

    "One of the things we decided when we put the tour together because we wanted to be off the East Coast," said Patrick Madden, CEO of the National Archives Foundation, who was on-site for the exhibit's opening in Houston. "There's a lot of 250th celebration stuff happening in the original 13 colonies. How do we get it to major markets where larger numbers of people can see it? So in the case of Houston, obviously, major market in this part of the country, but also we've partnered with the museum twice before with National Archives exhibits, so we knew that they would be up to the task of handling the exhibit and the crowds."

    The prize of the collection is a rare engraving of the original Declaration of Independence. Secretary of State and future president John Quincy Adams commissioned 200 exact replicas of the document from engraver William J. Stone in 1823. Less than 50 now remain. Madden joyfully pointed out that there are errors in this document, a potent reminder that the men who forged a nation made mistakes.

    "There's a couple of typos in it where they had to make corrections," said Madden. "So even the founders, you know, they're all human. That resonates because here these people are making this move against the most powerful nation empire in the world and putting their lives on the line for a country based on ideas."

    Other impressive parts of the collection include official Oaths of Allegiance signed by George Washington, Aaron Burr, and Alexander Hamilton and one of the drafts of the Bill of Rights. Many states would not ratify the constitution until certain rights were included in the document, leading to Washington going on a national tour assuring state leaders enshrining protections was first on the list. The draft copy on display specifically shows the First Amendment in progress.

    Houston is the fourth stop on the exhibition's tour, which will take the documents to Denver, Miami, Dearborn, and Seattle through the summer once they leave the city. Freedom Plane is just one part of a larger patriotic celebration at the HMNS, which includes a film series celebrating American science and culture and general Americana decoration throughout the main hall.

    museumshouston museum of natural science
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