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    CultureMap Exclusive

    NFL stars to be grand marshals of Art Car Parade: Bulls On Parade (really) &Parker in a giant banana

    Joel Luks
    May 7, 2012 | 2:40 pm
    • It's all about No. 99, new Houston Texans star J.J. Watt and . . .
      Photo by © Michelle Watson/CatchLightGroup.com
    • Connor Barwin at the Art Car Parade.
      Photo by © Michelle Watson/CatchLightGroup.com
    • Dan Aykroyd and Mayor Annise Parker filled the spot in 2010. This year, Parkerwill be crowned "Top Banana."
      Photo by Allen Roberson
    • Lynn Wyatt was the parade's grand dame last year.
      Photo by Chinh Phan

    Drum roll please . . . your 25th Annual Art Car Parade Grand Marshal is . . .

    Make that marshals. CultureMap has learned that Houston Texans defensive end J.J. Watt — one of the NFL's emerging stars — and linebacker Connor Barwin are getting the honor in this 25th anniversary year, showing just how crazy Houston is about its Texans right now.

    Watt won't ride a horse in this event as he did in the Downtown Rodeo Parade. He'll be using one of those kooky art-on-wheels vehicles to strut down Allen Parkway Saturday.

    For a defensive end who's "obsessed with getting his hands up," Watt has had plenty of practice waving and making crowds roar, whether that's by stealing a football out of the air in the playoff game or with his all-American, corn-fed good looks. He'll need that when greeting the 300,000 spectators expected to line the city streets Saturday.

    Unlike Lynn Wyatt's solo show last year and funny man Dan Aykroyd the year before, Watt will share in the glory with teammate Connor Barwin, one of the funniest players in the NFL (and a force in Wade Phillips' defense). This Bulls on Parade Texan loves the spotlight, and we presume that Barwin surely will have a thing or two to say over Twitter.

    As she's done in previous years, Mayor Annise Parker will also join in the motorized fashion fete.

    Though out of all the possible fruits the Orange Show Center for Visionary Art could have chosen to flaunt the Bayou City's top dog, that she'll be riding on a giant banana (obvious phallus reference) is a testament that Parker has a cheeky sense of humor.

    Parade officials are crowning her, "Top Banana."

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    Unhappy holidays

    Porch pirates swipe nearly $2B in packages from Texas homes this year

    John Egan
    Dec 17, 2025 | 9:30 am
    Porch Pirate Person in Glasses Steals Packages
    Getty Images
    The Grinch isn't the only one stealing Christmas these days.

    ’Tis the season for porch pirates. If past trends are an indicator, the Grinch will swipe close to $2 billion worth of packages delivered to Texas households this year, with many of those thefts happening ahead of the holiday season.

    An analysis of FBI and survey data by ecommerce marketing company Omnisend shows porch pirates stole more than $1.8 billion worth of packages from Texans’ porches last year. Porch pirates hit nearly one-third of the state’s households in 2024, according to the analysis.

    Omnisend’s analysis reveals these statistics about porch piracy in Texas:

    • 30.1 million residential package thefts in 2024.
    • An average household loss of $169 per year.
    • An annual average of 2.9 package thefts per household.

    “Most stolen items are cheap on their own, but add them up, and retailers and consumers are facing an enormous bill,” says Omnisend.

    Another data analysis, this one from The Action Network sports betting platform, unwraps different figures regarding porch piracy in Texas.

    The platform’s 2025 Porch Pirate Index ranks Texas as the state with the highest volume of residential thefts, based on 2023-24 FBI data.

    Researchers at The Action Network uncovered 26,293 reports of personal property thefts at Texas residences during that period. The network’s survey data indicates 5 percent of Texas residents had a package stolen in the three months before the pre-holiday survey.

    The Porch Pirate Index calculates a 25.8 percent risk of a Texas household being victimized by porch pirates, putting it in the No. 5 spot among states with the highest risk of porch piracy.

    The Action Network included online-search volume for terms like “package stolen” and “porch pirates.” Sustained spikes in these searches suggest that “people are actively looking for guidance after something has happened. Search trends serve as an early warning system, revealing emerging-risk areas well before annual crime statistics are released,” the network says.

    Tips to avoid being a victim
    So, how do you prevent porch pirates from snatching packages that end up on your porch? Omnisend, The Action Network and Amazon offer these eight tips:

    1. Closely monitor deliveries and quickly retrieve packages.
    2. Schedule deliveries for times when you’ll be home.
    3. Use delivery lockers or in-store pickup when possible.
    4. Ask delivery services to hide packages in out-of-sight spots outside your home.
    5. Install a visible doorbell camera or security camera.
    6. Coordinate deliveries with neighbors or building managers if you’ll be away from your home when packages are supposed to arrive.
    7. Request that delivery services hold your packages if you can’t be home when they’re scheduled to come.
    8. Illuminate the path to your doorstep and keep porch lights on.
    holidaysporch piratescrime
    news/city-life

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