Giga Pets and Tea Party caps: Houston's hipster future Part II

Hipsters are a fickle lot, making it difficult to foresee just where their tastes will shift from moment to moment. To close out CultureMap's January editorial series, Imagine Houston's Future, I would like to proffer additional examples (or heady advice) for trends that will take root in the decades to come.

Tajik Yogurt

Greek yogurt has had its moment (as a general rule, if an ingredient appears on an episode of Sandra Lee or on the menu at Panera, it's over). And while Bulgarian yogurt may be currently enjoying a renaissance, it's shelf life is limited. Up next: Tajik yogurt.

It's more obscure, and we'll probably get a good deal on Tajik exports assuming it's acquired as part of an Inner Asia imperialist campaign.

Hipsters Icing Hipsters

The bro trend that spread like wildfire during the summer of 2010 will eventually be picked up (ironically) by the cool kids. The sickening sweetness of Smirnoff Ice will be overlooked as a concession to a quick buzz and easy route to shunning demode bro culture.

Bud Light

Hipsters may sip Pabst Blue Ribbon with a straw today, but the blue collar appeal of Bud Light is hard to resist. Also, it ranks higher on "drinkability" than Smirnoff Ice.

Tea Party Paraphernalia

In the future, Tea Party bandanas will trump the trucker hat of yore. What will (hopefully) be an obsolete political movement will now be fodder for fashion. Relatedly, Sarah Palin-style glasses may also appear on hipster mugs.

Hermit Crabs

You may recall that obscure, small, city-dwelling mammals are currently all the rage, but in the future, decapod crustaceans will win the hearts of hipsters. Chalk it up to their childhood nostalgic appeal and cheap dietary needs.

UH Downtown

The University of Houston branch is slated for a rebranding, so expect scenesters to suddenly flock to this most urbane of local universities. The hipster freshman class will brag about their proximity to vaguely authentic falafel and the exciting buzz of downtown in comparison to the sleepy, leafy campus of the Third Ward.

Graffiti Mobiles

The baby boomers had VW buses, and Generation Z will have Graffiti Mobiles. Assumedly, at that point the vehicles will have wiped out all of the city's evil graffiti, leaving the cars up for grabs.

Giga pets

I personally tried revitalizing interest in Tamagotchis in 2004 and 2009, to no avail. Perhaps it's best to pursue the black sheep of the digital animal kingdom.

Bonus points if you can score a vintage Komputer Koala or Floppy Frog.

Mechanical Engineering

It may be hard to envision now, but we'll see mechanical engineering classes at UH Downtown packed with hipsters looking for respectable degrees. Gaining the skills to maintain a vintage Graffiti Mobile is just another perk.

Analog Books

If subculture legitimacy is currently defined by the ability to collect a cadre of vinyl records, then in the future, paper books will become the must-have collector's item. Start stocking up now on copies of books by Kurt Vonegut and musings by Michel Foucault.

Editor's note: Don't miss the first installment of Steven Thomson's hipster future predictions.