It’s been a bit, and I apologize for that but I’m back! While I was away, I had a thought and I’m going to see if Eric Sandler lets this idea fly. My thought is this — not only can I be the CultureMap Houston Wine Guy but I can also be the “Whine Guy” where I will talk about things in the food and beverage industry that I think are interesting, timely, and important. If you’re reading this, Eric is good with it or he is just being nice because it was his birthday last week. Happy Birthday my friend!

So, I would like to discuss a topic that is debated passionately in my life, either with friends or with my wife: the potato, specifically the french fry. I’ve cooked almost my entire life, and during this time, I have learned that I have a love/hate relationship with potatoes. People will tell you that they “absolutely love” something no matter what, i.e. pizza, burgers, fried chicken, avocados (that’s a whole different story), and pasta. These are just some items that people are very passionate about and I get it….or do I?

Actually no, I don’t get it. Not all french fries are delicious, and I’m going to break down some of the reasons why. I know this will start a debate which I’m ok with! This is going to be fun.

Overall, it’s complicated. Not all fries are good. Most are just bad. I also believe that it’s the wizard not the wand that is the problem. They are fried too long, not long enough, oil is too cold or too hot, over or under seasoned. There are so many factors to this it makes my head spin or should I say make me whine — see what I did there?

I ran a restaurant for a long time that spent hours focusing on the pursuit of the best french fry and dedicated more time than was probably necessary on trying to achieve it. First, we need to break down how the french fry is made — the frozen fry comes later. There are many different styles to talk about, and you have to start with the type of potato — Idaho, Yukon Gold, Kennebec (a variety of the white potato), sweet potato, and, the wrong choice at any time, the red potato.

The fry is really only good when the potato is super starchy and low in sugar like the Idaho, the Kennebec, and sometimes the Yukon Gold. Sorry sweet potato and red potato, you’re gone. I’m not going to apologize about these things because they are my beliefs based on my experiences. A friendly difference in opinion is part of what makes our world amazing.

When it comes to the cut of the french fry, do you want super thin, medium, thick, or something like a steak fry? For me, it’s a 3/8 inch Kennebec. The potatoes are washed, put through a french fry cutter into water where you want to wash some of the starch from them.

The next step is to fry them in a 300 degree fryer for 3-5 minutes then remove from the oil and either refrigerate or freeze overnight to help dry them out. Fry them a second time in a 375-400 degree fryer for 3-5 minutes or until crispy. When you remove them from the fryer, shake the excess oil from them, drop them in a bowl, and lightly toss them with a little kosher salt. Please refrain from putting truffle oil on them right now because you went through a lot of hard work to make them and don’t want to ruin them.

I did this for ten years, tasting French fries every day to measure consistency, and then it happened. I ordered some wings and fries to take home for dinner. It took me an extra minute to leave the restaurant, and when I got home and my wife and I sat down to dinner, the fries were soggy. Lindsey said something that shocked me.

She said, “these fries are great, they should always be like this.” I almost choked and said, “Wait, after years of trying to perfect the fry, you want me to go in and ask the cooks to make them like this?” And the answer was yes. It made me realize that what I consider the perfect fry was only perfect for me, but not everyone agreed. Enjoy the truffle oil, fry yourself a sweet potato, live your life like you should!

Let’s talk about frozen fries. Are they bad? Absolutely not — they are a modern marvel that we should be in awe of because they give restaurants consistency and help keep labor models in check. If I had to do it all over again, I would absolutely buy frozen fries. Are all frozen fries perfect? That depends on what you like — the shoestring, thick steak cut, the curly, crinkle, the tot.

I love the thin fry that is about a quarter inch (as served at places like State of Grace, Cantina Barba, BB’s Tex-Orleans, and Feges BBQ, where they’re fried in rendered tallow similar to the way that McDonald’s used to), but I’ll pass on the super small matchstick fries or the big thick puffy fries. My argument is that based on a crisp exterior to interior potato ratio, the tater tot might be the best crunch (Riel and Lankford Grocery).

Let’s finish up by talking about innovation. In the french fry world, it’s known as the coated fry. This is a coating of proprietary ingredients consisting sometimes of rice flour that make the fry stay crispy longer. The thin coating that you can’t really tell it’s there which keeps the fry crispy is a much better option than the thick seasoned coating, unless you are talking about a curly fry, which I’m cool with but only then.

The waffle fry, sweet potato fry, the fries tossed in garlic and herbs, and steak fry are a no go for me, except within certain circumstances like the potato wedges at Bludorn. Crinkle fries are usually pretty tasty but not always. A soggy crinkle is the worst but folks like Shake Shack and surprisingly Halal Guys (even delivered!) are really good, always seasoned right and crispy.

Until next time, enjoy your fries that you love the most. Maybe the ones you don’t like (sweet potato or truffle) are someone else’s favorite. Let me know your favorite fry in Houston!

I’ll be back with my next column as the Wine Guy! Cheers!

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Which restaurant do you think serves Houston's best fries? Send your suggestions to Chris via email at chris@chrisshepherd.is.

Chris Shepherd won a James Beard Award for Best Chef: Southwest in 2014. The Southern Smoke Foundation, a nonprofit he co-founded with his wife Lindsey Brown, has distributed more than $11 million to hospitality workers in crisis through its Emergency Relief Fund. Catch his TV show, Eat Like a Local, every Saturday at 10 am on KPRC Channel 2.