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    The summer of our discontent

    Will winter ever get here? Game of Thrones ends its fiery first season with alot to argue about

    Tarra Gaines
    Jun 20, 2011 | 6:18 pm

    Ten weeks ago HBO began its newest series, Game of Thrones, with a glowing-eyed giant decapitating sword-wielding warriors in a starkly beautiful snowy forest.

    Sunday night it ended the first season in a starkly beautiful desert as newly-hatched dragons snuggled their naked-princess adopted mommy.

    In between those amazing scenes the 10 episodes contained war, sex, impenetrable fortresses, incestuous siblings, dire wolves, palace intrigue, whores, and mass communication based on raven technology.

    Game of Thrones is the television dramatization of George R.R. Martin’s much-loved fantasy novel series A Song of Ice and Fire. At the beginning of the show’s run there was a question of whether viewers who had not read the books would be able to keep up with the multitude of characters, settings, and an immense mythology. To answer that question, I offered myself as the type of viewer HBO would probably covet, someone who was not familiar with the books but who enjoys sci fi and fantasy television.

    While Thrones certainly held my interest, I sometimes found myself admiring the expanse of the series more than I actually enjoyed it. Thrones was renewed for a second season after its first episode, and the ratings have been good, though not as good as True Blood.

    The show did stir up controversy and online grumbling on two issues both involving Ned Stark, played by the great Sean Bean. Bean’s screen time and HBO’s promotions quickly made some viewers, who hadn’t read the books, believe Stark was the show’s protagonist. As the episodes progressed, viewers were sometimes left wondering at just how dumb Ned Stark had become and then last week, — spoiler alert! — at how dead Ned Stark had become.

    The first issue began early in the series as Ned accepts an important political appointment from the Westeros king, Robert Baratheon. Ned leaves his beloved Winterfell and from that point begins to make a series of bad decisions. Ned lets honor dictate his actions in ways that make him seem foolish and trusts men who blind puppies would distrust. The writers probably wanted viewers to feel great pity at the plight of a man who lives and breathes honor as he suffocates in a city with no honor, but half the time I wanted to slap some common sense into him.

    Bad luck, political naiveté and a lack of pragmatism finally landed Ned in the dungeon. Meanwhile online, Ned’s questionable strategies led to fan forum fights and the hilarious Stupid Ned Stark Meme, a recounting of all of Ned’s political moves in poster form.

    And just as the stupid Ned Stark jokes died away, so did Ned. He finally chooses to briefly dishonor himself by giving a false confession of treason, having been promised this will spare the life of his daughters. Of course, the new king Joffrey Baratheon, the spawn of Queen Cersei and her twin brother Jaime, has Ned executed anyway.

    And that’s when viewers became a bit upset. Television blogs and magazines, including Entertainment Weekly, did stories on the death and fan reactions, which seemed to range from never watching the show again to praise for the narrative bravery.

    I accidently spoiled myself on Ned’s death five episodes in, but by episode two I wondered if he could be long for that world which, though magical, still must function under the rules of dramatic symmetry.

    I believe it was Chekhov who first postulated that if the hero decapitates a traumatized deserter in episode one and kills a chained wolf pup in episode two, both for honor’s sake, then that hero damn well better lose his own honorable head by episode nine. Admittedly, my Russian might be a bit rusty.

    Honorable but stupid, dead Ned aside, I found a lot to like about the series but some equally frustrating aspects as well. Here are my highlights:

    Daenerys Targaryen

    One of the last of the Targaryen royal line, the dragon-blooded princess went from vacant tool of her bratty brother to powerful dragon mother. Along the way she married and partially civilized the barbarian horselord, Drogo, but also found that no good deed goes unpunished when ordering the barbarian hoards to go easy on the raping during the pillaging. Though Drogo dies from a combination of infection and vengeful witch, Dany gained her own devoted followers after throwing the coolest funeral/dragon hatching party ever.

    The younger Stark children

    Youngest daughter Arya began the season as an excellent archer and finished as a deadly swordswoman. Along the way, she showed political acumen and street smarts I wish her father possessed. Her younger brother Bran got tossed out a window in episode one, but a coma and then partial paralysis couldn’t keep him from literally getting back on that horse. Finally, youngest child Rickon might have only had three lines the entire season, but when Bran tries to reassure him that all the wandering and threatened Starks will one day return to Winterfell, Rickon’s declaration “No they won’t” was probably the most intelligent statement of the whole series.

    Peter Dinklage’s Tyrion Lannister

    Game of Thrones is littered with impressive actors, but as the episodes progressed Dinklage sometimes seemed to be the only one having any fun at all. He has an assist from the writers, as Tyrion gets the best lines. Yet, no matter if Tyrion was afraid, drunk, whoring, imprisoned, lost, making quips in situations where he looks to be minutes from death, or worst of all, standing under the judging eyes of his father’s honed-steel gaze, Dinklage gives Tyrion Shakespearean depth, while seeming never to forget Thrones is essentially a swords, dragons, and zombies show.

    When Thrones remembers it is essentially a swords, dragon, and zombie show

    I’m sure many viewers watch Game of Thrones for its political intrigue and feuding, aristocratic families. Who doesn’t like a good medieval civil war? But personally, when I’m in a mood for the War of the Roses, one of Martin's inspirations for the books, I turn to Shakespeare.

    While I appreciate the scope and grit of the series, I really want more ice zombies, dire wolves, and dragons to balance out all the civil wars and political treachery. The show keeps telling us “Winter is Coming,” but on steamy Houston Sunday nights that seems more like a tease than a threat. I’ll stick around for what is likely to be untold character suffering and despair in season two and beyond, but I’m warning you HBO, there better be some awesome dragon, White Walker, ice zombie battles at the end of all this or I’ll sick a dire wolf on you.

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    Movie Review

    Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

    Alex Bentley
    Dec 26, 2025 | 2:30 pm
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda
    Photo by Matt Grace
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

    In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

    The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

    Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

    Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

    The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

    It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

    Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

    Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

    ---

    Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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