Not since the blacked-out finale of The Sopranos has such a collective moan been heard from living rooms across the country. As had been widely predicted, Bachelor Jake Pavelka picked slightly crazy and annoying Vienna Girardi over sweet-as-pie Tenley to get the final rose—and an engagement ring.
"How could he?" seems to be the response of most women (and men) I know. But my response is "How could he not?"
While I haven't been a fervent viewer all season, I've seen enough to know why Vienna has so many haters. She seemed convinced to the point of nuttiness that Jake would be her husband from day one. She could be rude, tactless and immature, especially when the other girls were talking about their connection or time with Jake. She was blunt, and she didn't bother to cover up her distaste for the girls she considered to be threats to her goal of ending up with Jake.
But let's be real, who wants to hear someone wax rhapsodic about how in love they are with the guy you like and how much he likes them back?
The natural reaction isn't to squeal and share their joy and act happy for them, as many of the girls on the show did. The natural reaction is to be devastated and fantasize about pushing them off a cliff.
Think that kind of jealousy and competition is unladylike? How many romantic dates with other women would you want to hear about your boyfriend being on?
While Vienna had more than her share of groan-worthy, "Is she kidding me?" moments, as Chris Harrison said on The Bachelor's "The Women Tell All" episode, "you're never as cool as you think you are." I'll give her the benefit of the doubt on a controversial personality merely because she wasn't afraid to actually have one. Vienna was neither the token bad girl or the house crazy—those would be Rozlyn and Michelle, respectively.
Tenley might have been the nicest, most lovely person on the planet, but that doesn't make her interesting. Aside from rainbows, puppies, unicorns and Jake, what does Tenley like? What does she hate? What is she interested in? I have no idea, and it's possible that Jake didn't either. To quote Dorothy Parker, "She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."
Is it so wrong to find a sensitive, funny, opinionated girl and love her because of and not despite these traits? Who, instead of gleefully hanging on your every word, teases you and challenges you to be funny and interesting and spontaneous to earn her affection? Can't women be desirable and be more than smiles and sunshine? Isn't that what feminism was about?
I think no less an authority on romance than Jane Austen would agree. In Pride and Prejudice, beautiful and sweet-natured Jane is adored, but she isn't the protagonist. That would be her sister Elizabeth Bennet—not quite as pretty, but lively, smart, and headstrong. Jane ends up happily ever after, but it's the difficult, unexpected and eventually passionate love between Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy that's a romance for the ages.
Is Vienna a modern-day Elizabeth Bennet? Maybe not. But if I was holding auditions for my girl-posse, she's the one I'd want to hang out with and get tipsy—not Tenley. So I can't judge Jake for making the same decision.
