Saving the human race
Whip it out: An iPhone in your pants is even worse for your sex life than anAffliction T-shirt
Hyperconnected boys, the potency of your swimmers is in danger of extinction — by microwaving.
We're sure you've heard it over and over (and over) again — putting your mobile near your manhood is kryptonite for your sperm.
You know why? Because pocketing your phone is probably the worst move you could make for your lineage (that and the Affliction shirt you wear on first dates).
You know this. You've known this. And yet, you don't believe it could happen to your invincible, indestructible, superspermination powers.
How many times do you have to be told to shift that smartphone?
Public Service Announcement #7,459: Stop putting your cell phone in your pockets, gentleman.
A recent study has revealed that yes, you ought to carry a manpurse. Well, not exactly, but research conducted at Queen's University definitively states that, indeed, your troops are of a lower grade when you put that iPhone in your pants, and no, you're not as fertile when you do.
Gasp!
You want to reproduce. You want to make little yous. You know what you have to do for the survival of humankind.
Man purse or fanny pack. It's your choice. Think of the children.