My talent superagent Bernie Shelley has scored another blockbuster deal for me.

On Thursday, October 19 I will emcee the “Avian Affair – Celebrating the Sound of Birds,” which is Houston Audubon’s annual fundraising event at The Revaire. The social event of the year will include a silent auction, seated dinner, exciting videos, awards presentation, musical entertainment, and a wine pull.

I have no idea what a wine pull is. (Editor’s note: Ken, there’s this new site called “YouTube,” which has a lot of info on this very topic.)

This year, the event is celebrating the sound of birds and is honoring Rice University professor and author Cin-Ty Lee, who will receive the Kathrine G. McGovern Urban Conservation Award. Heather and Jeff Firestone and Carol and Dan Price are co-chairing the big night.

Did I mention I’m the emcee?

Houston Audubon is an important organization, as it owns and manages nature sanctuaries across 11 counties in Southeast Texas. The group is dedicated to preserving and protecting green space to be enjoyed by birds, wildlife, and people. The sanctuaries are popular destination for birds as a place to rest, nest, and feed their young. Houston Audubon also sponsors nature education programs for kids and adults.

Houston Audubon supports birding activities in Houston and the Gulf Coast region, raises awareness, and owns and manages nature sanctuaries across 11 counties in Southeast Texas. Photo via Houston Audubon

Whether you believe in climate change or not, it’s affecting birds at an alarming rate. Houston Audubon not only teaches locals and visitors about the Gulf Coast’s robust bird population, but also how instrumental Houston and the Gulf Coast region are for birds traveling thousands of miles to warmer climates.

As for the gala, the highlight of the evening should be when the audience rushes the stage and pummels me for the 100th time I refer to them as “bird watchers” instead of the correct and preferred “birders.”

(Editor’s note 2: Okay, Ken, since you’re a movie guy, we recommend you check out the Steve Martin/Owen Wilson/Jack Black vehicle The Big Year. It’s 1 hour 40 minutes of all things birding. You’ll learn all the lingo — everything. Watch this before you emcee, Ken. Please. For all of us..or at least, so that you avoid getting pummeled and show up for work the next week.)

This is a can't-miss event for anyone who loves birds, nature, or watching me emcee things. For tickets and more information, visit the official event site. See you there.

Readers respond to the latest Dome's Day scenario

For those wondering what to do with the Astrodome. Just stop.

Last week, I wrote about (yet) another group, this one called Astrodome reIMAGINEd, forming to save the Astrodome and renovate it into a productive and profitable member of Houston society.

The former 8th Wonder of the World, now wastin’ away, forgotten and forlorn, in NRG Park, has been condemned since 2009. But it’s still an emotional spark for many Harris County and Houston residents. Everybody seems to have a notion what to do with it.

Here are some of the suggestions from readers last week:

I am in favor of something … except tearing it down. Houston tears anything historical down, like the Shamrock Hotel, AstroWorld, etc. We don’t have places for tourists to tour. I like a lot of the previous ideas, an event place, a casino, multipurpose facility. I, as a Houstonian and taxpayer, would be willing to pay additional tax money to save it. – Sally Pehr.

I had a letter published in the Chronicle 10 years ago saying they should make the Dome an indoor ski slope. – Stew Cooper.

Doze it – John Chapman.

I am curious if a proposal was ever offered to remove all the exterior walls and make the Dome an open-air pavilion. The Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion seems to have done fine over the years without air conditioning and little installed seating. But I agree – something needs to be done. – Debbie Orr.

Know what doesn’t need plumbing or air conditioning? A parking garage. Bust out the window panels and make it a historically famous garage. To sate the Texas Historical Commission, add a buck to the cost of parking for the first 1,000 years to cover the cost of building a small tribute museum inside the Dome in honor of the Dome. The museum admission would be free except for the small optional charge to sit in Judge Roy’s La-Z-Boy for a souvenir photo. – Freddy Rogers.

First of all, I would not describe the Astrodome as an “offensive eyesore.” I love seeing it, and remember all the history and memories created there. My bright idea for the short term is to artistically light the Dome’s exterior, similar to the Superdome in New Orleans. NRG could provide the electricity with solar power. Imagine if you will, coming out of the Rodeo, a concert, or Texan Monday Night Football game with the Dome awash with the latest artistic lighting technology. I support Keeping the Astrodome and think it is a valuable structure with great potential. I am definitely against demolition and posts by people thinking it should be bulldozed for more parking infuriate me. – Alan Ping.

I agree with you something should be done. I always thought that if the basic structure was sound that building several levels of parking on the bottom with moving walkways to the stadium would be good. Then use the upper level for convention/hotel space.

I went to the first baseball games at the Dome against the Yankees. I also sold ice cream at the Colt 45 outdoor stadium. – Pat Bennett.

If Texas would legalize gambling, like more than 30 other states have done, then Texans and their tax money could stay in Texas instead of supporting Louisiana’s economy. Then the Astrodome could be renovated into a casino and resort hotel with restaurants and retail. It’s ridiculous that Texas hasn’t legalized gambling. – George Lewis.

My response: all good ideas ... except for the ski jumping. But, everybody needs to get over fixing up or tearing down the Astrodome. Whatever idea you have, it ain’t gonna happen.

Nothing will or can be done. The Astrodome will still be sitting in its present condition for the next 1,000,000 million years. The only thing that will change, there will be different cats and rats running loose in there.

The Astrodome is protected by three different historical groups and they typically hang on to designated buildings like grim death. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing – but it’s their thing.

I think turning the Astrodome into a casino is the best and possibly only idea that would be successful. But first the Texas Legislature would have to approve gambling, which is a distant long shot. The legislature doesn’t dare put gambling on a ballot because polls show that gambling would win big time. So nothing gets done. And that’s our thing.

Credit where credit’s due

Most disingenuous tweet – or whatever they’re called now that Twitter is X – ever;

Sunday, October 8 was a picture-perfect day in Houston and fans clamored for the Minute Maid Park roof to be open for the Astros ALDS Game 2 against the Twins. Lo and behold, the roof was open. The Astros posted on X:

“We heard y’all wanted the roof open.”

Like the Astros had anything to do with the decision? They didn’t. The Astros control when the ballpark roof is open or closed during the regular season, but during the post-season the commissioner of Major League Baseball makes that decision. And judging from the recent past, the decision may have gone the other way if the Astros had been in charge.

The roof was open just one time during all of the 2023 regular season, and just one time during all of the 2022 regular season.

But way to take credit for something you had no part of, Astros. Sort of like in Seinfeld, when Elaine gave The Big Salad to George’s girlfriend, and the girlfriend thought Elaine paid for it.

Flying over to the Avian Affair? Got a plan for The Dome? Let Ken know at ken@culturemap.com or on Twitter.