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    Book Review

    Scott Rabb says LeBron James is The Whore of Akron, but can you blame him fortaking the Heat?

    Jayme Lamm
    Nov 20, 2011 | 12:00 pm
    • LeBron James
    • The Whore of Akron
    • Author Scott Raab
      Photo via ClevelandMagazine.blogspot.com

    After reading every word of Scott Raab’s newly released 300-page book, The Whore of Akron: One Man's Search for the Soul of LeBron James, I find myself still questioning if I can relate or even take at face value his extreme disdain (not to mention hallucinations) for and of LeBron James and his multiple indiscretions and ultimately, The Decision.

    Being from Virginia, a hometown loyalty to any team in sports is lost on me. As a state, we don't have a collective team (the Redskins surely don’t count, because they are the Washington Redskins, and more confusingly, their stadium is in Maryland). While that is in no way to say Virginians can’t be loyal fans, that whole “I live and die by Cleveland sports” mentality in which Raab bears is not something I can genuinely relate to.

    My loyalties to my teams are as follows (and in order), the Philadelphia Eagles, the Texas Rangers (thanks to the 1993 Nolan Ryan and Robin Ventura fight which proved to my father that sometimes fighting is a legitimate necessity), and yes, loyally amidst all the bandwagoners, the Miami Heat.

    Raab set out to write a book about the LeBron legacy, but like a drunk Snooki, things quickly changed.

    Before you continue reading, here is full disclosure in its purest form: I think Scott Raab is one hell of a writer. He’s one of the reasons I want my own byline in Esquire, hopefully very soon.

    I also love my Miami Heat (with or without King James), but as he leads my team to hopefully another run at the NBA championship (this time winning), I too, support him. After reading this in-depth view of Raab’s transparent and utter hate for LeBron, it makes me want to personally alert a team of armed guards for LBJ’s protection.

    But as a sport’s fanatic myself, and one who relies heavily on the First Amendment, I can somewhat relate and surely appreciate.

    Cleveland fans have had a rough go, summed up here:

    It is forever fourth down and 98 yards to go here, the Broncos’ ball, with the Browns four minutes from their first Super Bowl; forever the ninth inning of Game 7, the Tribe leading by a run, three outs away from their first World Series win since 1948; forever the last second of Game 5 against the Bulls in 1989, with the Cavaliers up one and Michael Jordan with the ball.”

    Raab set out to write a book about the LeBron legacy, but like a drunk Snooki, things quickly changed. Raab had high hopes that LeBron would change all the negative and heartbroken hysteria highlighted above, but the second his “loyalty” hit ESPN, Raab and many other fans set out for revenge on King James and his chalk-blowing antics. Or more accurately, the 3,600 seconds he plastered said loyalty over a supposed unbiased network.

    No room for fairy tales or handjobs

    There are many parts of this book I can’t relate to – the constant and lifelong heartache the Cleveland sport’s community feels, the infinite Jewish references, and the constant visual images of Raab asking for (or more commonly being offered) handjobs by his doting wife Lisa. No one has ever offered me a handjob (or asked for one) after watching LeBron post his fifteenth straight triple-double.

    LeBron didn’t have that choice to stay loyal and get a ring. Or did he?

    I like to think of myself as a loyal person, but it’s hard to put myself in LeBron’s Nikes. Sure, it would have been a storybook fairy tale had he stayed with the Cavs and finally brought a ring to a city that so desperately needed and wanted it.

    But I ask myself, if I had a boyfriend of seven years who I loved dearly, but the chance to be with my girl crush Jessica Biel presented itself, would I remain loyal to said boyfriend? Ideally he’d be all for it and allow me to have both him and J. Biel, but things don’t quite work like that in the NBA. LeBron didn’t have that choice to stay loyal and get a ring. Or did he?

    “Those Cleveland fans knew for the first time what utter fools they had been to believe that LeBron James ever gave a damn about anything but LeBron James.” One of Raab’s rants tackling an interview LeBron gave after his egotistical highlight, The Decision: “Maybe the ones burning my jersey were never LeBron fans anyway.”

    Team first, players second?

    Raab brings up a supremely cogent point, which many young athletes as well as fans don’t get. It’s the whole cheering for laundry concept. You aren’t a fan of that particular player or even that jersey — “the names on the back of the jersey will change as the years go by.” Cleveland fans loved LeBron and rooted for him because he was on their team, not the other way around. From what I gather, Cleveland fans love their teams first and their players second. LeBron was the first one-namer the town of Cleveland has ever recognized, but with no rings, perhaps it was all in vain.

    But one question I still have: Can you blame him?

    Raab is spot-on when he calls LeBron, “A brand name with no more substance than a marketing plan to move shoes and soft drinks,” but sadly and truly, isn’t that what sports have become? Long gone are the days where loyal and respectable players like Craig Biggio, Walter Payton, Larry Bird, Cal Ripken Jr., David Robinson and Ryan Giggs abound. We are starting to see more and more King James’ across the leagues that have the ability to hold acronyms like ESPN and NBA by the balls since Day One.

    Raab reminds us as fans, your voice may be gone screaming profanities and cheers in stadiums and arenas, but your heart? Your heart should never be gone. Spoken from a true Cleveland native.

    As it doesn’t look like Clevelanders will be getting a championship this Christmas, may I suggest this book as a damn fine consolation prize? Due to LeBron’s multiple playoff breakdowns, you can easily wrap the gift and label it “Merry Quitness” for sport’s fans everywhere. Yes, even Heat fans. Because if there’s one thing you can’t debate about King James, it’s his 4th quarter playoff disappearances.

    Dear Raab,

    Please continue to hang on to your Browns ticket stub from 1964 and I’ll hold on to this book you sent me with post-it flags and scribbled up margins, serving as reminders to us both for the hope and dreams we are each holding out for. You, that you and your city will once again see another Championship of some kind, and me, that being a writer letting it all hang out, may some day get me a book deal and notoriety that only true greats indeed accomplish.

    Thanks again for the book. I do expect an autograph if we ever meet.

    unspecified
    news/sports

    pucker up

    Growing pickleball franchise smashes into Houston with 2 locations

    Jef Rouner
    Apr 29, 2025 | 5:30 pm
    Two men play pickleball on a Picklr court.
    Photo courtesy of The Picklr
    A Picklr court campus similar to the ones soon to open in Houston.

    Pickleball is one of the hottest sports sweeping the nation, and one of the biggest names in the game is setting up two new facilities in Houston. Picklr is scheduled to open indoor sports campuses in Cypress and The Woodlands in the coming months.

    “Bringing a pickleball facility to Cypress will not only provide a fun and engaging recreational outlet for residents of all ages, but will also foster a sense of community and promote a healthy and active lifestyle,” said Steve Nguyen, owner of The Picklr Cypress.“This facility will serve as a vibrant hub for social interaction, skill development, and friendly/competitive competition, enhancing community bonds and offering a welcoming space for everyone to enjoy.”

    Although the game is approximately 60 years old, pickleball saw a massive spike in popularity following the pandemic when people were looking for fun group activities with easy points of entry. Though a racket sport like tennis, it is far easier and slower thanks to using perforated balls, smaller courts, and lighter paddles. This means the game is open to players of all ages, and was originally most popular with retirees. Now, there are roughly 5 million players across America, with players under 24 making up the majority. Houston even has its own professional team, the Hammers (not the Texas Hammer; that's this guy).

    The court in Cypress will be located in the old ASI Gymnastics building at 8920 Barker Cypress. It's a relatively modest facility with only six courts including a practice court. By contrast, The Woodlands location will be much more opulent. At 66,517 square feet, it will have 20 courts, 4 private event spaces (one with an exclusive viewing area), as well as a shower, changing room, dry bar, and kitchenette. Picklr The Woodlands will be located at 16590 Interstate I-45 South.

    These locations are the first for Picklr in Houston. They have twelve locations all throughout Texas, including in Round Rock and McKinney, and many more nationwide. Picklr locations operate on a membership model similar to a gym. Memberships run $159 a month for adults and $89 for minors, with unlimited access to open play, league play, and tournaments , as well as four free clinics a month. Additional coaching is available.

    There is currently no set opening date for the two Houston-area Picklrs. Players interested in learning more may sign up for updates at ThePicklr.com.

    pickleballopenings
    news/sports

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