The Sports Bros.
Think the Pro Bowl is lame? Here are three ways to fix it
In case you missed it, the Pro Bowl happened today. You not knowing, by the way, is totally possible.
So let's operate under the assumption you didn't watch it and need a 10-word summation of the Pro Bowl: It's more a celebration for the players than the fans. Players get their trips to Hawaii, $45,000 to the winner — which is especially crazy given the fact that the Super Bowl losers make only $42,000 — and a ton of swag. Everyone knows it doesn't mean crap, but yet, throughout the entire season, announcers keep reminding us of how many they've been to.
To be clear, it's not that the players don't deserve it. Far from it. But ultimately, the fans pay their salaries to get to this game, and it needs to be better. They know it; they've even taken measures to make it a little more fan-friendly. The inclusion of mic’ing up coaches and players was great, but it shouldn't end there. The thing needs more panache. It wouldn't be fair to complain without solutions, so we're dropping a few suggestions:
1.No penalties for excessive celebrations
It’s time we allow the players to let loose and kick it after their trip to the end zone. We all enjoyed BJ Raji's fat man dance. But it shouldn't stop there. Group celebrations, for sure. Think group choreography. Tom Brady and his O-line rehearsing in a mirrored studio with Brady barking out counts: "Aahhh--5, 6, 7, HUT!"
The best celebration:
If given the chance, look what Boise State football players would have been capable of:
2. A new kind of quarterback competition
If you didn't know, there's a quarterback skills competition. You not knowing that, by the way, is totally possible. It doesn't take a genius to surmise it's lame.
Instead, these QB skills competitions need to take on practical use. No more throwing a football into rings. QBs need to be throwing footballs to knock guns out of assailants hands. Make 'em throw a football at a lever that pushes a change to the train track to avert an oncoming locomotive. Hell, make them perform in a live action Paperboy. QBs saving lives? THEN Delivering the news? Yes, please.
At the very least, let's get QBs competing for money, but make it exactly like a Win Ben Stein’s Money situation. Imagine: Peyton Manning vs. Tom Brady. If Brady makes eight balls in the hoop and Manning only six, Brady gets to spend $20,000 dollars of Manning's money.
3. Watch Chris Johnson and Usain Bolt run
I guarantee this last pick is a sure fire way to gain a better audience: There needs to be a sanctioned race between Johnson (4.24 40) and Bolt (9.58 100m).
Speed is exciting. Usain Bolt’s celebration after winning the 100m in the Olympics is nothing short of amazing. The only real question here would be if Bolt races in pads or if CJ starts off in the blocks. Heck, let the heavy action on gambling on this thing triumph. The more things people can bet on, the more they’ll watch.
The question for the NFL would be, "What happens if this overshadows the game?"
Our answer — Who cares?
You need eyes on the screen. I’d watch the race, and I don’t watch the Pro Bowl.
It’s time for the NFL to embrace change. We want flair and excitement, not a mediocre game we all know players who aren't in the Super Bowl don't want to be playing. It’s bad enough most fans can’t make it out to Hawaii to see the game, so it's time the NFL gives something back to the people. Give it to us in dance, absurd races--I don’t care. The Pro Bowl has such potential, and if the NFL would just listen, we could get it there.
What do you think are some suggestions for improving the Pro Bowl?