A Different Type of Women Trouble
Tiger Woods' kindergarten teacher threatens to overshadow Houston Open
It's hard enough to be the tournament right before the Masters. It's even harder when the Masters is set to bring the worlds of sports, news and tabloid media into a head-on collision that hasn't been seen since the days of O.J. Simpson's murder trial. But it becomes downright ridiculous when a retired kindergarden teacher starts stealing headlines from your event.
OK, it's Tiger Woods' old kindergarden teacher. And no, he hasn't slept with her. At least, not yet.
But that didn't stop 69-year-old Maureen Decker from holding a press conference at attention-leech lawyer Gloria Allred's office that drew even more national attention away from the Shell Houston Open.
First, Tiger overshadows the Accenture Match Play Championships with his first live public statement because he's pissed at Accenture for dropping him as an endorser. Now, the kindergarden teacher chooses the Shell weekend to vent on Tiger (what, is she enraged about the price of gas?)
Decker's outraged — outraged! — that Tiger told a story about his kindergarden experience that she insists isn't true. "A group of sixth graders tied me to a tree, spray-painted the word 'n----' on me, and threw rocks at me," Tiger said. "That was my first day of school. And the teacher really didn't do much of anything."
Of course, Tiger said this in a book written by his good friend/former NBA star Charles Barkley and respected sports journalist Michael Wilbon that came out in 2005. Yes, Decker's suddenly lost it over something that Tiger said five years ago. This all couldn't have anything to do with Allred having run out of (as unlikely as this is) porn stars that Tiger cheated on his wife with to represent. No, this retired kindergarden teacher is surely suffering from emotional distress.
Or at least, she misses wagging her finger at cowering little kids.
"If Tiger is truly following a 12-step program for a so-called sex addiction," Decker said, using air-finger quotes at sex addiction, "then he needs to apologize to all those he has hurt by his words and actions, and that includes me, his kindergarten teacher.”
Damn it, Tiger. How could you forget Miss. Decker!
If only Woods had reached out, the Houston Open would have dodged one large distraction. No wonder this is a Phil Mickelson town.