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    A Different Type of Women Trouble

    Tiger Woods' kindergarten teacher threatens to overshadow Houston Open

    Chris Baldwin
    Apr 4, 2010 | 4:09 pm

    It's hard enough to be the tournament right before the Masters. It's even harder when the Masters is set to bring the worlds of sports, news and tabloid media into a head-on collision that hasn't been seen since the days of O.J. Simpson's murder trial. But it becomes downright ridiculous when a retired kindergarden teacher starts stealing headlines from your event.

    OK, it's Tiger Woods' old kindergarden teacher. And no, he hasn't slept with her. At least, not yet.

    But that didn't stop 69-year-old Maureen Decker from holding a press conference at attention-leech lawyer Gloria Allred's office that drew even more national attention away from the Shell Houston Open.

    First, Tiger overshadows the Accenture Match Play Championships with his first live public statement because he's pissed at Accenture for dropping him as an endorser. Now, the kindergarden teacher chooses the Shell weekend to vent on Tiger (what, is she enraged about the price of gas?)

    Decker's outraged — outraged! — that Tiger told a story about his kindergarden experience that she insists isn't true. "A group of sixth graders tied me to a tree, spray-painted the word 'n----' on me, and threw rocks at me," Tiger said. "That was my first day of school. And the teacher really didn't do much of anything."

    Of course, Tiger said this in a book written by his good friend/former NBA star Charles Barkley and respected sports journalist Michael Wilbon that came out in 2005. Yes, Decker's suddenly lost it over something that Tiger said five years ago. This all couldn't have anything to do with Allred having run out of (as unlikely as this is) porn stars that Tiger cheated on his wife with to represent. No, this retired kindergarden teacher is surely suffering from emotional distress.

    Or at least, she misses wagging her finger at cowering little kids.

    "If Tiger is truly following a 12-step program for a so-called sex addiction," Decker said, using air-finger quotes at sex addiction, "then he needs to apologize to all those he has hurt by his words and actions, and that includes me, his kindergarten teacher.”

    Damn it, Tiger. How could you forget Miss. Decker!

    If only Woods had reached out, the Houston Open would have dodged one large distraction. No wonder this is a Phil Mickelson town.

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    Movie Review

    Michelle Pfeiffer visits Houston in new Christmas movie Oh. What. Fun.

    Alex Bentley
    Dec 5, 2025 | 3:30 pm
    Michelle Pfeiffer in Oh. What. Fun.
    Photo courtesy of Amazon MGM Studios
    Michelle Pfeiffer in Oh. What. Fun.

    Of all the formulaic movie genres, Christmas/holiday movies are among the most predictable. No matter what the problem is that arises between family members, friends, or potential romantic partners, the stories in holiday movies are designed to give viewers a feel-good ending even if the majority of the movie makes you feel pretty bad.

    That’s certainly the case in Oh. What. Fun., in which Michelle Pfeiffer plays Claire, an underappreciated mom living in Houston with her inattentive husband, Nick (Denis Leary). As the film begins, her three children are arriving back home for Christmas: The high-strung Channing (Felicity Jones) is married to the milquetoast Doug (Jason Schwartzman); the aloof Taylor (Chloë Grace Moretz) brings home yet another new girlfriend; and the perpetual child Sammy (Dominic Sessa) has just broken up with his girlfriend.

    Each of the family members seems to be oblivious to everything Claire does for them, especially when it comes to what she really wants: For them to nominate her to win a trip to see a talk show in L.A. hosted by Zazzy Tims (Eva Longoria). When she accidentally gets left behind on a planned outing to see a show, Claire reaches her breaking point and — in a kind of Home Alone in reverse — she decides to drive across the country to get to the show herself.

    Written and directed by Michael Showalter (The Idea of You), and co-written by Chandler Baker (who wrote the short story on which the film is based), the movie never establishes any kind of enjoyable rhythm. Each of the characters, including competitive neighbor Jeanne (Joan Chen), is assigned a character trait that becomes their entire personality, with none of them allowed to evolve into something deeper.

    The filmmakers lean hard into the idea that Claire is a person who always puts her family first and receives very little in return, but the evidence presented in the story is sketchy at best. Every situation shown in the film is so superficial that tension barely exists, and the (over)reactions by Claire give her family members few opportunities to make up for their failings.

    The most interesting part of the movie comes when Claire actually makes it to the Zazzy Sims show. Even though what happens there is just as unbelievable as anything else presented in the story, Showalter and Baker concoct a scene that allows Claire and others to fully express the central theme of the film, and for a few minutes the movie actually lives up to its title.

    Pfeiffer, given her first leading role since 2020’s French Exit, is a somewhat manic presence, and her thick Texas accent and unnecessary voiceover don’t do her any favors. It seems weird to have such a strong supporting cast with almost nothing of substance to do, but almost all of them are wasted, including Danielle Brooks in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo. The lone exception is Longoria, who is a blast in the few scenes she gets.

    Oh. What. Fun. is far from the first movie to try and fail at becoming a new holiday classic, but the pedigree of Showalter and the cast make this dismal viewing experience extra disappointing. Ironically, overworked and underappreciated moms deserve a much better story than the one this movie delivers.

    ---

    Oh. What. Fun. is now streaming on Prime Video.

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