Opening Stuff

All wrapped up: Why is it so #$@&%*! hard to open just about any box, jar, CD, carton or package?

It takes a host of tools to open just about anything.

Photo by Katie Oxford

Opening stuff used to be easier.

What once required mostly muscle, now takes muscle, time and tools. Determination helps.

Whether the item comes in the mail or from a restaurant where you picked up food to go, getting to it is complicated and can cause injury. Everything comes wrapped, wrapped and more wrapped. Remember that one word in the movie, The Graduate? “Plastics,” said Mr. McGuire to Ben. “There’s a great future in plastics.”

What once required mostly muscle, now takes muscle, time and tools. Determination helps.

I’ve opened many a box from UPS using a painter’s scraper. By the time I reach the contents, it feels like I’ve wrestled a gorilla. There’s packaging tape for miles and I don’t care how careful you are, those damnable peanuts are going to fly like confetti.

For an upper torso work out, open a jar of pickles. If muscle doesn’t do it, I hold the jar at an angle and tap the lid against a block board. If this doesn’t work, then I run it under hot water. If this fails, I go back to the block board where then, a fierce determination sets in. If you want those baby dills, you gotta stay with it.

When we pick up Italian food, I order extra red sauce, which comes in a pint size plastic container. Looking at this little container, you’d never think of grabbing a bottle opener . . . until you tackle taking the lid off. It’s like hermetically sealed or something! It seems the smaller the item, the tougher the job.

I take two vitamins. Opening the calcium is a one step deal but it’s layers later before I get to those fish oil gels. There’s plastic at the top and more under the lid, or, depending on the brand, a foam board type material. After you peel this away you come to cotton . . . beaucoups of it. From here I use a pair of tweezers and pull out enough to stuff a woman’s evening purse.

There’s an art to opening a CD. Once, at Cactus Music, I watched a guy unwrap one faster than my Uncle Howard shucked corn.

Before cracking into a package of new batteries, first, I gather tools. This is a paring knife, a flat head screwdriver and the bluntest scissors in the house. The plastic’s so thick it’ll ruin a pair of good ones.

Even with the dry cleaning, boxed shirts, already packaged in cardboard and plastic, come stacked in large bags that are closed shut at the top by a train track of staples. I use to remove these with the flat head screwdriver, but, the task was tedious and by the end of it, I was crawling on the floor looking for all the staples. Now, I go straight for my trusty staple remover. Industrial strength.

I asked friends of all ages what items, if any, did they have a tough time opening. The responses came fast and sure.

One talked about orange juice cartons. “If I don’t pull that plastic ring thing off in just the right way, the whole thing pops out.”

Another spoke generally. "Sometimes you just have to destroy a product just to open it."

My favorite though was this one. "Worst package ever is for the Dewalt Utility Knife. You need a chainsaw to open it. Best design comes from Nature, The Banana."

You’ll howl but I actually Googled the latter. I thought "The Banana" was some kind of boat made by a company called Nature.

Guess it was just too simple.

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flight cancelled

Historic Houston air terminal museum closes due to budget shortfall

Photo courtesy of 1940 Air Terminal Museum

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A beloved Houston museum has closed its doors — at least for now. The 1940 Air Terminal Museum announced this morning (Monday, March 2) that it has ceased operations.

Located next to Hobby Airport, the 1940 Air Terminal Museum showcases Houston’s aviation history. Designed by local architect Joseph Finger, the museum’s Art Deco building is a protected landmark that’s listed on the National Register of Historic Places.

Museum president and director Karen Nicolaou tells CultureMap that the problem is simple. The museum’s revenues don’t match its expenses. Previously, the museum raised $100,000 or more per year from raffles on Facebook, but that stream dried up.

It generates some money from admissions and more from hosting private events, but it hasn’t been enough. Being far away from the Museum District means it doesn’t get the cross traffic that its more centrally-located peer institutions do.

Still, the museum occupies a unique space in Houston. “It’s one of the coolest places for kids to see airplanes,” Nicolaou says. “There’s no other place where someone can walk onto the ramp and take a picture of plane taking off with nothing in the way.”

While the museum is closed for now, Nicolaou says its board has been in contact with the Texas Historical Commission about taking over operations. One issue is that the commission would want to take ownership of the building from Houston Airports, according to Nicolaou.

“That’s going to take coordination between the city, the airport system, and the Texas State Senate. There’s a lot of politics involved,” Nicolaou says.

Of course, she has a simple proposal for Houston Mayor John Whitmire that would move the process along.

“Mr. Mayor, sell the historical commission the building for a dollar and be done with it,” she says with a laugh.

Whether it’s operated by the City of Houston, the Texas Historical Commission, a university, or some other entity, Nicolaou hopes the public will be able to visit the museum again soon and for many years to come.

“We want a permanent solution. We’ve tried for one for years,” she says. “It belongs to the city. It belongs to the residents of the city of Houston. They should have it to go to for years.”

CultureMap has contacted Mayor Whitmire’s office for comment about the museum’s future and will update this article when we receive a reply.

museums transportation 1940 air terminal museum