'Scuba Claus' takes a dive to greet visitors at Sea Life San Antonio Aquarium

Move over, merfolk

Photo courtesy of Sea Life San Antonio Aquarium

Sliding down the chimney is so 18th century. While North Pole Santa is busy preparing for the big day the traditional way, Scuba Claus and some of the elves are making waves at Sea Life San Antonio Aquarium.

This aquarium invites visitors into a clear underwater tunnel in a tank with a 20-foot depth, allowing for an extra-immersive experience. Scuba divers regularly enter for cleaning, alongside mermaids, whose more leisurely underwater time is spent interacting with guests through the glass in iridescent costumes.

Scuba Claus, who wears his beard and red suit in all conditions, even when scuba goggles are involved, has a deceptive amount of holiday business to take care of, so he’ll only be at the aquarium on December 17, 18, and 24 at 1 pm.

There’s plenty of other special attractions during the holiday season, including holiday lights along the tanks; an interactive, themed tank decorating experience; and letter-writing to Sharky, who will swim them up to the North Pole.

A day at the Sea Life aquarium isn’t complete without a visit to the touch-friendly rock pool (the only place it’s fun to touch something “sticky” underwater) and a visit with the five types of stingray, and an exploration of the seahorse nursery. There are also jellyfish, sea turtles, and six-foot eels, alongside the many fish, both fresh and saltwater.

Visitors are welcome to wander the aquarium on their own, or check for feeding and demonstration schedules at visitsealife.com. The Ocean Tunnel, where Scuba Claus will appear, is acceptable to any ticket holder (starting at $19.99 for locals).

Photo by Matt Beard

Cirque du Soleil leaps back into Houston with acrobatic action and serious clowning around

send in the clowns

The world’s favorite circus/acrobatic/aerialist experience is headed back to Houston for high-flying acrobatics, dazzling spectacle, and some zany hijinks. Global phenomenon Cirque du Soleil returns to Houston with a whimsical new show called Kooza, the beloved company’s tribute to the circus tradition.

Kooza arrives at Sam Houston Race Park’s Big Top on January 25, 2023 and runs through March 5, marking more than a decade since its Houston debut. Tickets for the highly anticipated show go on sale at 10 am Monday September 19 online.

True to the Cirque form that has made the company famous with an audience of more than 215 million in more than 70 different countries, Kooza promises nonstop, high-flying spectacle, intricate, flashy costumes, vivid sets, and kooky antics.

Here, a character called the Innocent is magically transported to an exotic yet zany kingdom, one starring a mysterious trickster boasting electrifying powers. Nearly 8 million spectators worldwide have taken in the show, with over 4,000 performances in 65 cities across 22 countries.

Given Cirque’s Montreal-base and famously French je nais se quois, Kooza will feature some silly, colorful clowns who are sure to steal the show.

Fans should especially look forward to edge-of-seat action in the high wire, teeterboard, and Wheel of Death acts, in a show that will delight in sending in the clowns.

-----

Cirque du Soleil’s Kooza runs January 25-March 5, 2023 at Sam Houston Race Park’s Big Top, 575 North Sam Houston Pkwy W Gate 3. Tickets go on sale Monday, September 19 and can be found, along with a schedule and more information, on the official show website.

Photo via Pixlr

Ken Hoffman on how his worst public restroom mistake yielded the best luck

relief in the wrong place

I had the most embarrassing moment — and luckiest day of my life — last week. Both on the same day, within hours of each other.

I’m going to have to explain what happened in delicate terms. But first, let me give you my view of public restrooms.

They’re disgusting. I do everything in my power, every ounce of my foresight, will and intestinal fortitude, to avoid them. I’ve never used a port-a-potty. I try to avoid using the restroom at Buc-ee’s, and they’ve built an empire on clean restrooms and beef jerky.

So imagine my distress last week when I was driving in Southwest Houston and suddenly realized that nature was calling — and it was an emergency call. Oh, like this has never happened to you?

What to do? I calculated the time it would take me to drive home vs. finding a public restroom vs. never being able to trade in my car. (Editor’s note: Thanks for that, Ken.)

Sidebar: Several years ago, I wrote a column detailing all the quirks and oddball habits of Houston television legend Marvin Zindler. One of them was, his wife Gertrude never saw him without his famous wig during their 55 years together.

Another was, when young Marvin was in grade school and felt he had to go No. 2, he would go to the office and call for a cab to take him home so he could do his business there. The cab would wait and bring him back to school.

(I thought that was the most normal thing about Zindler.)

Now I’m sweating bullets and wriggling in the car seat, please get me to a public restroom. I saw a sporting goods store along the 59 feeder. I had no other choice.

Wait, we’re not to the most embarrassing part yet.

A desperate search
Where’s your restroom? A cashier pointed to the rear of the store. Usain Bolt had nothing on me as I raced there, shoulder blocked the door open, found an empty stall and took a seat — I’m serious, just in the nick of time. Whew!

I stayed there listening to make sure nobody else was in the restroom before emerging. When I thought the coast was clear, I opened the stall door and walked out … to find three women standing by the sinks. I took a quick glance, no urinals. And where are the flowers? I had always heard that women’s restroom had flowers.

I was in the women’s restroom with three women who were shocked, to say the least, to see me. Almost as horrified as I was to see them. I didn’t know what to say. I was frozen with shame and embarrassment.

Why, hello, ladies...
The women quickly left the restroom. I washed my hands (hygiene, always) and plotted how to leave the store, hoping the women didn’t report me to security. I pulled my baseball cap down low, stared at my feet and slunk out of there.

A few hours later, I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch and realized that my wallet was missing. I tore my house apart looking for it. We’ve all done that when we can’t find keys or sunglasses — or wallet, right? I looked everywhere, including the refrigerator. You’ve looked there, too. I searched my car. No wallet.

I thought it could be in only one place — the women’s restroom at the sporting goods store, third stall on the right. Maybe my wallet fell from my pants during the frantic chaos.

Losing your wallet is a Top 10 worst thing that can make your life miserable. I started calculating what’s in my wallet: driver’s license, healthcare ID, work ID, parking pass, credit cards, ATM card, gift cards, and money. I was leaving for a trip the next day and had a few hundred in my wallet.

Losing your wallet will wreck you.

I drove back to the sporting goods store, this time with a different though equally desperate urgency. I retraced my steps to the restroom area. That is when my day went from hugely embarrassing to incredibly lucky.

Some relief?
A woman and her two daughters were about to enter the women’s restroom. I said, “I know this sounds weird, but would you mind going to the third stall on the right and see if there’s a tan men’s wallet on the floor?”

Please, please let it be there. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life on hold getting new credit cards and driver’s license. I was writing off the gift cards and money.

Mom came back out, said here it is, and handed me the wallet with everything intact — including the money.

What were the chances? My wallet sat on the floor of a public restroom of a busy store for several hours and nobody saw it or took it or turned it in or anything.
Lesson learned. Like your parents told you before taking a car trip, go to the bathroom first.

And most important: If you must use a public restroom, use the correct one.

Mean Girls on Broadway

Fetch tickets to Tina Fey's hilarious Mean Girls musical coming to Houston

with frenemies like this...

Few films encapsulate the twists and turns of suburban high school life like Tina Fey’s quintessentially quotable comedy, Mean Girls.

Though based loosely on the book Queen Bees & Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence, Fey’s Mean Girls draws on her high school years; she admitted in an interview that she was once a mean girl herself.

Now, Houston fans can get a dose of the Plastics (the aforementioned Mean Girls) and make “fetch” a thing when the new musical comedy heads to Houston August 16–21 at Hobby Center for the Performing Arts.

Individual tickets for the show presented by Memorial Hermann Broadway at the Hobby Center start at $40 and go on sale at 10 am Friday, April 1.

Boasting a book by Fey (a nine-time Emmy Award winner), music by three-time Emmy Award winner Jeff Richmond (Fey’s husband), and lyrics by two-time Tony Award nominee Nell Benjamin, Mean Girls opened on Broadway in April 2018 after a world premiere at the National Theatre in Washington, D.C. in the fall of 2017.

Fans can follow the spirited story of Cady Heron, who grew up on an African savanna and finds herself among the wildlife in a suburban Illinois high school. Hilarity ensues and the plot thickens when the wide-eyed Cady takes on The Plastics, a trio of frenemies led by the charismatic and ruthless Regina George.The show has been heralded by New York Magazine as a “...smart, splashy new musical that delivers with immense energy, a wicked sense of humor and joyful inside-jokery.”

In other words, a fetching Fey fete.

---

Mean Girls runs August 16–21 at The Hobby Center for the Performing Arts, 800 Bagby St. For tickets and showtimes, visit www.BroadwayAtTheHobbyCenter.com.

Photo by Anne Fishbein

Snarky satirist David Sedaris brings his pretty talk to Houston for one night only

exploring diabetes with owls

Quirky, bookish, and sardonic, author-humorist David Sedaris is beloved for his ability to pick apart life’s mundane moments and point out the abject silliness of it all.

To wit: the satirist once spent a well-documented stint as a Christmas elf at Macy’s in New York City and the result has become an NPR tradition as he recounts the gig in The Santaland Diaries.

Houston fans of the glib writer — who once drew the ire of our columnist — can enjoy his rapier wit when he visits the Brown Theater in Wortham Center on Thursday, April 28 (7:30 pm) as part of a special Society for the Performing Arts show.

His Houston stop will include a post-event book signing. Tickets start at $35 and can be purchased online.

Fans can look forward to Sedaris reading and relaying tales from his popular titles, including Barrel Fever and Holidays on Ice, Naked, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, and When You Are Engulfed in Flames. His most recent book, Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls, became an immediate bestseller.

Boasting more than 10 million copies of his books in print, translated into 25 languages, the droll Sedaris has also been nominated for three Grammy Awards for Best Spoken Word and Best Comedy Album. His spoken-word accounts are a favorite on NPR’s This American Life.

He also makes occasional stops on TV, such as a CBS Sunday Morning turn that really irked our Ken Hoffman.

Sedaris has been a Houston fan favorite for a decade — his SPA visits regularly draw a big or sellout crowd. Expect tickets to go fast.

---

David Sedaris appears at the Wortham Center’s Brown Theater (501 Texas Ave.) at 7:30 pm Thursday, April 28. Tickets start at $35 and can be purchased here.

Photo by Brandi Morris

Hysterical Mystery Science Theater 3000 tour heckles Houston in riff-heavy new live show

servo says

For those of a certain generation, no B or C-level movie screening was complete without the zany, ad hoc characters of the long-running TV series Mystery Science Theater 3000taking shots at the sheer campiness, heck, crappiness of the flick.

On the beloved TV series, the three riffing robots and human characters made the worst movies the absolute best, spawning a generation of “inspired” copycats.

Now, fans of MST3K (as it's known by fans) can rejoice as a nationwide tour makes a stop in Houston, courtesy Society for the Performing Arts. Mystery Science Theater 3000 LIVE brings the Time Bubble Tour to town on Wednesday, January 19, 2022, at Cullen Theater in the Wortham Center.

Tickets start at $40; VIP, meet and greet, and VIP merch packages are available, per a press release.

This Time Bubble Tour has the blessing and is supervised by series creator Joel Hodgson and will feature the returning cast of the MST3K 2019 Great Cheesy Movie Circus Tour: Emily Marsh, Conor McGiffin, Nate Begle, and Yvonne Freese. That group will be paired with riff-bots Tom Servo, Crow, and GPC.

The show will be directed by Tim Ryder, a former writer and performer from the MST3K TV series.

“I’m thrilled to announce that the MST3K live show is back on the road for audiences to enjoy together again, especially after a year that's been tough on all of us,” Hodgson said in a statement. “I’ve learned to never underestimate the power of hanging with friends and watching a cheesy movie while bots yell stuff at the screen.”

---

Mystery Science Theater 3000 LIVE: Time Bubble Tour; Cullen Theater at Wortham Center 501 Texas Ave. 7:30 pm Wednesday, January 19, 2022; tickets start at $40; for more information, visit the official SPA website.

Ad Placement 300x100

Ad Placement 300x600

CultureMap Emails are Awesome

Property Showcase

Top things to do in Houston this weekend: Big Beyoncé takeover, a cool pool party, and more

WEEKEND EVENT PLANNER

This weekend, the biggest female pop icon in the world comes home for her wildly popular Renaissance World Tour stops at NRG Stadium. To honor local girl — and now queen — Beyoncé Knowles-Carter, locals have been shopping for that perfect fit to slay like Bey (check out our guide here) and hitting special Beyoncé-themed events (see more here).

While this weekend is rightfully dominated with all things Queen Bey, plenty of other fun activities await. Cooler temps mean more outdoor fun at the Houston Arboretum, East River, and the Dew Berry Farm Festival. Some hilarious comedians hit town, and the insider-y El Segundo Swim Club makes a splash as we say farewell to summer.

Dive into a chill weekend at El Segundo Swim Club.Photo courtesy of El Segundo Swim Club

Enjoy; here are your best bets for this Beyoncé homecoming weekend.

Thursday, September 21

Houston Arboretum presents Sip & Stroll

The start of fall will be celebrated with the Houston Arboretum’s Sip & Stroll outdoor event. Participants will enjoy a quiet evening out on the arboretum trails. The sunset walk will include two glasses of wine or Saint Arnold beer, cheese and charcuterie offerings from GRAZE HTX, and a specialty wine glass to take home. New to this year’s event, participants will enjoy an additional wine tasting featuring a variety of wines from The Cause Urban Winery, founded by Jennifer Rossi. 5:30 pm.

Nerdy Night Market at Neil’s Bahr

Nerdy Night Market will be back outdoors in the Neil's Bahr Cantina lot, giving you more space, more vendors, and the perfect opportunity to hang out, enjoy drinks al fresco, and connect with your favorite nerdy enthusiasts. Join them for an evening of geeky treasures, great company, and the coolest finds you won't want to miss. From collectibles to unique creations, there’s something for every geek and pop-culture enthusiast to explore. Must be 21 or older to attend. 6 pm.

6 Degrees presents POP DEMO

6 Degrees premieres Toni Leago Valle’s dance/theatre experience, a blend of political commentary, offbeat theatre, aerial, contemporary dance, and visual projections, set in a stylistic Pop Art décor. The performance provides a historical perspective through cartoons of how the ideas of popular democracy, extremism, and propaganda have shaped and warped American political and cultural beliefs, ultimately attempting to overthrow democracy. 7:30 pm (2 and 7 pm Saturday).

Friday, September 22

Houston Art Gallery Association Fall Celebration

As visitors wander through the Houston Art Gallery Association member galleries on Friday and Saturday, they will embark on an enlightening journey where each gallery offers a unique experience. From contemporary masterpieces that challenge traditional notions of beauty to thought-provoking installations pushing boundaries, HAGA encapsulates the vibrant diversity of artistry in Houston. Galleries include Anya Tish Gallery, Foltz Fine Art, Foto Relevance, Heidi Vaughan Fine Art, Koelsch Gallery, Thornwood Gallery and many others. Noon.

East River presents Live Music Weekends

East River 9 will be kicking off Live Music Weekends, which will happen every Friday and Saturday night through December. All ages are invited to experience free, live musical performances while taking in unmatched views of Buffalo Bayou and the city skyline on the expansive, open-air terrace. The fall artist lineup is sure to make a splash with a wide variety of local and regional musicians. Kicking things off will be Lucas Jagneaux on Friday and the Sheila Marshall Duo on Saturday. 7 pm.

Alley Theatre presents American Mariachi

Family, love, and tradition are at the core of this heartwarming play about the freedom to dream big. It’s the 1970s and girls can’t be mariachis … or can they? Will Lucha and her spunky cousin hunt for bandmates, dodge disapproving relatives, and bring Mom along for the ride? This play is infused with vibrant, infectious, live mariachi music and reminds us how music and love can make the impossible come true. Through Sunday, October 22. 8 pm (2:30 and 8 pm Saturday; 2:30 and 7:30 pm Sunday).

Ilana Glazer Live!

Ilana Glazer is mostly known as the co-star/co-creator of the Comedy Central show Broad City. But along with movies and TV, she’s also out here doing her stand-up thing. Her debut stand-up comedy special, The Planet Is Burning, is on Amazon Prime. She is also the co-founder of the non-profit Generator Collective, which defines minimal civic engagement and aims to humanize policy through people-powered stories on social media. 8 pm.

Saturday, September 23

Dewberry Farm Fall Festival

Every Saturday and Sunday, Dewberry Farm's Fall Festival will feature fun, pumpkins, food, and over 40 rides and attractions. Visitors can explore the pumpkin patch, paint pumpkins, follow a trail of glowing jack-o-lanterns inside "Pumpkin Hollar!," take photos by the life-sized pumpkin house, spin out on the new Jumping' Jacks ride, meet barnyard animals, and get lost in the 8-acre, Houston Astros-themed corn maze. Through Sunday, November 12. 10 am.

End of Summer Weekend at El Segundo Swim Club

El Segundo Swim Club is a total IYKYK, where locals and hip Houstonians gather for pool parties that are less about raging and IG stories and more about low-key vibes. For the last weekend of the season, the club is offering day passes for $20. Sip on $4 beers, at-cost champagne, and a bunch of great cocktail specials. DJ/podcaster Jason Stewart (who also goes by @themjeans on Instagram – we just thought that was funny) will be keeping everything cool and groovy with his DJ set on Sunday. 11 am (Noon Sunday).

Still Here at East End Backyard

Swishahouse, The Waxx Club, and others are coming together to throw a bash that celebrates 50 years of hip-hop and family. There will be a hip-hop stage where MCs and DJs (along with graffiti artists, who’ll get together for a graff session) will do their thing. But there will also be a synthesized area, where such DJs as DJ Comp 1, Steve Swift, and Joe B will be spinning everything from hip-hop to funk to reggae to soul all through the night. 6 pm.

Houston Museum of African American Culture presents The Art of Making It

This 2022 documentary explores the art-world ecosystem through the prism of young artists at pivotal moments in their careers, revealing the secret sauce that thrusts some into the stratosphere and leaves others struggling to survive. Why does it matter who we anoint to tell the stories of our time? Including the voices of luminaries and disruptors, the film leaves one to question whether the new world order will make art more accessible for all. The screening will be followed by a conversation with producer Debi Wisch. 7:30 pm.

Sunday, September 24

Brews & Browse End of Summer Market

This weekend, Urban South HTX will say goodbye to this hot-as-heck season with an end-of-summer market. Bring the entire family out for a fun filled day of surprises including a bounce house, face painting, raffle prizes, market vendors, food, treats, and more. GastroCraft will be there at noon, serving some delicious gastro pub fare. This family, dog-friendly event is free to the public. 1 pm.

Avant-Art Gallery Soft Opening

Aspen-based painter and gallerist Christopher Martin’s eponymous Upper Kirby gallery is changing names and ownership. The high-profile Houston Gallery Row business is being reborn under former Christopher Martin Gallery directors Ally Ondarza and Abigail Henningsen. The gallery will host its soft opening to debut “Emerging Perspectives.” The exhibit will feature artwork from their entire portfolio of artists to share their community vision. Through Saturday, October 14. 2 pm.

Bert Kreischer: Tops Off World Tour

After starring in his very own movie The Machine (where Mark Hamill played his dad!), comedian, actor, podcaster, and author Bert Kreischer is back to take off his shirt and do some good ol’ stand-up. He also has his fifth stand-up special, Razzle Dazzle, on Netflix. Shameless and shirtless as ever, Kreischer spills on bodily emissions, being bullied by his kids, and the explosive end to his family's escape room outing. We’re sure he’ll hit you with more tales of family hell when he hits the Toyota Center stage. 7 pm.

Countdown to Beyoncé: Party, dance, shine – and stretch — at these Houston events honoring Queen Bey

bey there, do that

Houston is just days away from Beyoncé’s big Renaissance tour homecoming this weekend. The lights don’t go down at NRG Stadium until Saturday, September 23, but as Bey’s song says, we like to party. That means plenty of events and food and drink specials to toast the Queen.

Locals in the Beyhive who are still searching for those perfect Bey-inspired looks can show them off at these fun happenings, which include silent disco jams, a huge downtown party, Bey-themed yoga, and a special exhibit of Beyoncé’s most legendary photo.

Break out those flawless silver threads and get ready to slay at these Beyoncé events in Houston.

Thursday, September 21

Color Factory will immerse fans with a Beyoncé playlist running inside its silent disco all weekend long. The immersive art experience has teamed up with Houston legend DJ Rob G to elevate the fan-favorite disco to a party fit for the Queen and her BeyHive. 10 am.

Post Oak Hotelis “Calling All the Single Ladies” to exclusive helipad yoga classes. Attendees are encouraged to come dressed slaying in silver. Tickets are $200 per person and includes access to the pool after class. 5 and 6:45 pm.

02 Loungewill host a video and live music tribute to Beyoncé, presented by The Vibe Curator Keto Gentry The Consultant. It’s also known as a Touch of Silver Ladies Freakum Dress Theme Party. 8 pm.

Friday, September 22

The Warwickserves up two exclusive, Beyoncé-themed cocktails. Sip on a blackberry tequila lemondrop known as Alien Superstar. Later, order up a smooth sidecar riff they call the Pure/Honey Lemonade. 11 am.

Blossom Hotel raises a glass to Beyoncé's H-Town stop with a specially crafted, themed cocktail menu, including the Crazy in Love and the Break My Soul. Bonus points: The Blossom Hotel is less than 10 minutes away from where Blue Ivy’s mom will take center stage. 4 pm.

Nosie Yogiis making a strong pull by bringing back Bey-Asana, the original Beyoncé inspired yoga class. For one night only, participants can stretch in an all-level, non-heated flow session set to Queen Bey’s music. Registration is $20. 6:30 pm.

Saturday, September 23

Tootsies and Nicole Longnecker Gallery will celebrate both Beyoncé and celebrity photographer Markus Klinko. The artist will be in attendance, along with many of his larger-than-life photographs of A-list celebs like David Bowie, Lady GaGa, and Beyoncé, including the iconic cover photo of her debut album Dangerously in Love. Fans can also look forward to a close-up view of Klinko’s Diamond Dust images of Queen Bey in her unforgettable, diamond-studded spiderweb top and jeans — which she says are her favorite. 1 pm.

Radio Milano at The Moran CITYCENTRE presents a Queen Bey Kick Off, offering specialty cocktails inspired by Beyoncé’s greatest hits. Dance and sing along while sipping on such Beyoncé-inspired libations as the Cuff It and the Heated. 4 pm.

The Plaza at Avenida Houston invites the city to Hou Run the World: Beyoncé’s Homecoming Party on the Plaza. This welcome-home bash will feature live music, fireworks, and outdoor fun. Be sure to stick around for the special drone show: More than 400 drones will light up the evening sky, creating Beyoncé-related themes to dazzle viewers. Event runs at The Plaza at Avenida Houston (between the George R. Brown Convention Center and Discovery Green Park). 6:30 pm-8:45 pm

Sunday, September 24

Bar Boheme treats Bey-loving — and brunch-loving — fans to a special, Renaissance-edition drag brunch. Enjoy delicious brunch fare, live music from DJ Athenz, and a Beyoncé-themed drag show where performers pull out all the stops to Beyoncé hits. Registration is required. 11 am.

Da Hookah Plug Lounge makes a splash with a Beyoncé & Brunch Paint & Sip Special. They’ve got the music to karaoke to, food, hookahs, and more. Guests who wish to paint must RSVP under one of the painting tickets. 12:30 pm.

Bar Louieshakes things up with a perfectly pink diva martini for Beyoncé weekend. Enjoy an array of happy hour specials, including $6 premium liquors, $7 signature martinis, $7 select house cocktails, $6 wine by the glass, 50 percent off select bar bites and more. 4 pm.

Next week: Thursday, September 28

Rooftop Cinema Club goes open air with A Queen Bey Rooftop Party. The night starts at 7 pm, where a DJ will spin tunes as tunes during a pre-game cocktail hour. Then comes a special screening of the 2001 cult classic Carmen: A Hip Hopera — starring a young Beyoncé, natch — and directed by Robert Townsend.

After the film, head to the lounge area for a silent disco/dueling DJ battle featuring electrifying Beyoncé-inspired sets. Choose the channel through the wireless headphones and move to the left, to the left all night. Live DJ set and games run 7 pm-8 pm; movie runs 8 pm-9:30 pm; dueling DJ sets and silent disco run 9:30 pm-11:30 pm.

Houston pizza maestro retools his wildly successful new Heights restaurant after overwhelming response

that's a lot of pizza

Pizza-loving Houstonians have accomplished something that once seemed impossible. They’ve left chef Anthony Calleo speechless — sort of.

The first week of service at Gold Tooth Tony’s, Calleo’s new Detroit-style pizzeria in the Heights, has so vastly exceeded his expectations that he’s had to rethink his plans for operating the restaurant. Even with limited hours of 4-10 pm, it’s been selling out of pizza. As a reminder, Calleo has sold Houstonians a lot of pizza between the Pi Pizza food truck, the Pi Pizza restaurant, and in his current role as executive chef and co-owner of Montrose favorite Rudyard’s.

“I’ve done this before. I’ve sold a bunch of pizza. We know how to do that. The fact that we’re running out of food, we didn't really expect,” Calleo tells CultureMap. “What we thought we’d do in a 14-hour day after a couple months of practice is what we’re doing in a three-and-a-half hour day.”

He adds that on Sunday Gold Tooth Tony’s sold more pizza in a single hour than in any hour he can remember from the Pi days. That’s a lot of pizza for a restaurant that occupies a 1,000-square-foot former doughnut shop.

Having survived a hectic weekend, Calleo closed on Monday and Tuesday to give its cooks a well-deserved break. The restaurant reopened for dinner today (Wednesday, September 20) with dough that he and chef Adam Bitner made for the restaurant.

In the meantime, he’s ordered more pizza pans and is looking into adding a larger walk-in cooler to deal with the unexpected demand. Whatever he decides, it will be done with his staff in mind.

“I’m not going to grind those dudes into dust. They deserve a break. They busted their ass for us at a brand new job,” he says. “They did great, period.”

Part of meeting the demand for pizza means temporarily slimming down the menu by cutting dishes such as queso and mac and cheese. Although Calleo had planned to roll out lunch as soon as this week, the restaurant will remain dinner only for now.

“I didn’t get into this business to tell people no, but it’s mathematics and physics. If I could argue with those, I wouldn’t be a chef — I’d be a super villain,” he says.

Meanwhile, the search has already begun for a second location. Calleo aims to strike while the iron is hot — and Houstonians are eating him out of pizza.

View All Listings