World Wide Ebb (and Flow)
Forget Mike Huckabee's Chelsea Clinton plea, the Internet's about trickingothers into thinking you're hot
Editor's note: As CultureMap's social media editor, Fayza A. Elmostehi spends all day (and many nights) online and gets paid for it. During this time, Fayza comes across a lot of junk, but she also unearths some treasures. In this regular series, she'll introduce CultureMap readers to zany, bizarre, touching and funny moments in the Internet that they might otherwise miss.
The Internet is a virtual cornucopia of wonderful, maniacal indulgences.
Will you be able to get through work today without knowing whether Mike Huckabee will be invited to Chelsea Clinton's nuptials? Will you melt without submitting your cyber yea or nay on every Reddit story? Does our ill-preparedness for an alien invasion fascinate (and terrify) you to an insatiable degree?
Well, the Internet has no qualms about feeding your addiction to information. Open wide.
We don't know about you, but we've certainly got more data than we think our brains can handle. So if you've made it this far, your gold star is in the mail.
But we're pulling the emergency brake on that search engine. What happens when you don't want to be inundated with squirrelly words? What if you want to use your eyes to see?
Comprehension is overrated. Turn your brain off. Get your clicking finger ready. Because it's about to get visual up in here.
Because your inner geek yearns to seek more geekery, Modern Toss has reinvented the periodic table. For swearing. We just saw you run to the color printer.
Which makes sense, because the Internet is made of cats.
When it comes to being a cyber denizen, what does one require at the base level? Maslow's Hierarchy of Internet Needs claims we do, indeed, need cats to be satisfied, above and beyond all else. Our advice? Don't let your boss read this article. And turn the sound down on this video.
Lemonade tastes better with Comic Sans, that's why.
Need to make urgent requests of your coworkers? Don't ask them to do it in Comic Sans. Because even Fortune 500 companies know better than that.
Fix your ugly face in a few easy steps!
This picture moves. We hope you don't think we were trying to trick you. But if you lend Jenna Marbles a mere two-ish minutes of your time, you can do some of the tricking. Tricking people into thinking you're attractive, that is. Biggest return on an investment yet.
Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility.
And being aesthetically pleasing is no stroll down Rodeo. When hit by People's "Sexiest Man Alive" hex, young hunks might as well kiss prolonged Hollywood success goodbye. The careers of Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, and Jude Law have all succumbed to the curse du jour. It makes you wonder if some of us aren't lookers for a reason.