So this is how it felt to be a University of Oklahoma fan on the second Saturday of October for the past two years, and most of the past 15?
Two-touchdown underdog Texas more than doubled Oklahoma in yards gained and tacked on bonus touchdowns on a Daje Johnson punt return and a Chris Whaley pick to trounce Bob Stoops Troops 36-20 in the Cotton Bowl on Saturday.
This was the first time this group of Texas seniors, including Case McCoy, who has looked bewildered in previous Red River matchups, beat their rivals from the Dust Bowl State. The golden cowboy hat, which looks like something you’d find at a Sly Stone garage sale, provided the perfect gaudiness for the celebration.
Although this was a total domination, it’s not going to save Mack Brown’s job any more than an appearance in Machete Kills will resurrect Mel Gibson’s acting career.
Texas is now undefeated in Big 12 play at 3-0, but the real Longhorns football team showed up for the first time this year, shutting down the high-flying Sooners like it was an air traffic controllers’ strike at DFW. No Sooners back gained more than 35 yards, and Oklahoma quarterback Blake Bell played like the Belldoze-off, with only 132 yards in the air and two interceptions.
Like a lumbering Pink, defensive tackle Chris Whaley got the party started in the first quarter when he dropped back into coverage to snag a bad pass and returned it for a 10-3 Texas lead.
The much-maligned McCoy was so good — except for a late “Oh, Case” lapse — that announcer Todd Blackledge called him "Colt." Finishing 13 of 21 for 190 yards, McCoy threw perfect bombs to Marcus Johnson in the first quarter for a 59-yard touchdown and found Mike Davis at the end of the third quarter for a 38-yard strike that made it 36-13.
But the play of the game was Daje Johnson’s 85-yard punt return in the third quarter. The Pflugerville water bug made full use of his 4.3 speed in the 40 to go twice that long — untouched. Oklahoma had started the second half in full ram mode and marched down the field, looking set to eventually fall into the end zone to make it 23-17 with momentum on its side.
Instead the Texas defense, heroic all day, came up with a big stop and yielded only three points instead of seven. Three and a half minutes later, Daje was doing the touchdown dance, and the rout was on.
Texas Plays Like Men
Third down is the manhood down, and Texas running backs Johnathan Gray and Malcolm Brown (who each gained more than 120 yards) were able to move the chains like guys with a card table on Canal Street in Austin who don’t exactly have receipts for those gold necklaces. When it was third-and-1, McCoy hit Jaxon Shipley over the middle, even though everyone knew that’s where the ball was going.
Manhood! Texas converted, Oklahoma didn’t. The big men up the middle won the line of scrimmage.
This was the biggest win for Texas since it beat Texas A&M in the schools' goodbye meeting in 2011. Case McCoy also won that game. You can stop calling him Fredo and posting that photoshopped prom pic of him with a mullet. Case became a Texas hero this Saturday.
Although this was a total domination, it’s not going to save Mack Brown’s job any more than an appearance in Machete Kills will resurrect Mel Gibson’s acting career. But beating Oklahoma will let Brown retire with dignity.
Until next year when they put Brown on TV next to some idiot like Mark May.