The Cowboys fan claims to have suffered injury, pain, disfigurement and more after sitting on a black marble bench outside of new Cowboys Stadium before a team scrimmage in August 2010.
As with anything to do with a potentially frivolous lawsuit or butt injuries, the issue sparked lively debate in our morning editorial meeting. Here's some of the debate:
Chris Baldwin, the resident bulldog, believes that we should try to understand the full story.
Chris says: "I just think that we rush to blame people who sue, without knowing everything — I mean, people still blame the McDonald's coffee lady, and if you know the whole story, she obviously had a case."
Joel Luks, arts aficionado, thinks that the lady must have been crazy for sitting so long — but that she ought to get them for all they're worth.
Joel says: "If you get hurt and you fine somebody like the Cowboys, that have a lot of fucking money, why would you not try to get as much money as possible? Because you burned your ass — wait, what did she burn? I'm assuming that she burned her ass.
"I mean, was she just frying there, thinking my legs are hurting, I should get up?"
Sarah Rufca, our foodie, lawsuit expert and pragmatist, doesn't believe in suing for suing's sake.
Sarah says: "If a bench is a liability and not a service, we can't even have benches. And I like benches.
"I had leather seats in my car, and leather is not even stone, and it got really hot and it burned me — but I never sued anyone about that. Maybe I should have.
"I mean, I think the Cowboys could argue that they probably weren't expecting people to sit on marble benches in the heat with a naked butt or with exposed legs (the woman's attorney says she was wearing long pants and still got burned). I just can't believe that she didn't put her hand down first, not only to check the temperature, but to balance and guide herself into seated position . . . Like a plane landing.
This writer would have known long before sitting whether the surface of the bench was too hot.
I say: "I often wipe a chair or a bench just to make sure I'm not sitting on crumbs or something [a quirk which Sarah has apparently noted on multiple occasions]."
Tyler Rudick, a guy who knows his bizarre crime, suggests that we conduct a bench experiment to test the temperatures of different materials.
Tyler says: "The world is a much more dangerous place than you think it is."