Austin | Dallas | Houston
Less is more

Astros unveil new uniforms — a cheeky new look for the hometown team!

Fasten your seatbelts Astros fans, CultureMap has discovered plans for the team's new uniforms and they're like nothing you've ever seen before in the sports arena — except perhaps in sumo wrestling. The au courant orange thong with matching baseball cap reveals all that we love about our athletes — those robust cheeks and rock-solid thighs. Go 'Stros!

Congratulations Astros owner Jim Crane for being forward-thinking enough to embrace the concept that, in sports fashion, less can certainly be more. (We actually think that Franci Crane might have been involved in this decision-making process.)

We expect a surge in ticket sales as women and gay caballeros discover a whole new side to the game and the boys of summer.

------------

Editor's Note: Happy April Fools' Day!

Get Our Emails

Daily Digest

The Dining Report

Promo Alerts

We will not share or sell your email address