Less is more

Astros unveil new uniforms — a cheeky new look for the hometown team!

Astros unveil new uniforms — a cheeky new look for the hometown team!

News_Astros thong_man_red thong_April Fool's

Fasten your seatbelts Astros fans, CultureMap has discovered plans for the team's new uniforms and they're like nothing you've ever seen before in the sports arena — except perhaps in sumo wrestling. The au courant orange thong with matching baseball cap reveals all that we love about our athletes — those robust cheeks and rock-solid thighs. Go 'Stros!

Congratulations Astros owner Jim Crane for being forward-thinking enough to embrace the concept that, in sports fashion, less can certainly be more. (We actually think that Franci Crane might have been involved in this decision-making process.)

We expect a surge in ticket sales as women and gay caballeros discover a whole new side to the game and the boys of summer.

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Editor's Note: Happy April Fools' Day!

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