Fasten your seatbelts Astros fans, CultureMap has discovered plans for the team's new uniforms and they're like nothing you've ever seen before in the sports arena — except perhaps in sumo wrestling. The au courant orange thong with matching baseball cap reveals all that we love about our athletes — those robust cheeks and rock-solid thighs. Go 'Stros!
Congratulations Astros owner Jim Crane for being forward-thinking enough to embrace the concept that, in sports fashion, less can certainly be more. (We actually think that Franci Crane might have been involved in this decision-making process.)
We expect a surge in ticket sales as women and gay caballeros discover a whole new side to the game and the boys of summer.
Editor's Note: Happy April Fools' Day!