Say it ain't so! It was announced on Thursday that Pabst Blue Ribbon — American classic, dive bar staple and hipster favorite — has been sold to Russian-owned Oasis Brewers. A sad —but not devastating — fact until you remember that Pabst Blue Ribbon is also the parent company of Lone Star, aka "The National Beer of Texas." (The company actually owns a host of American mediocre beers including Schlitz, Rainier, Old Style and National Bohemian.)
According to the New York Times, people who have "been briefed on the matter" estimate the deal to be worth $700 million or about 70,000,000 12-packs of Lone Star.
“Pabst Blue Ribbon is the quintessential American brand — it represents individualism, egalitarianism and freedom of expression — all the things that make this country great,” Eugene Kashper, the chairman of Oasis Beverages, said in a press release.
Yeah, no shit, Eugene. That's why we drink it. Did you think it was for the taste? No, we drink it for the same reason that we drink Budweiser: Because it's like drinking America from a bottle. That, and the fact that it was also what our parents drank so it was always in the fridge growing up and now we feel an affinity towards it.
Though they will be owned by the Russians, PBR and Lone Star will remain headquartered in Los Angeles, a fact which may actually be more offensive to Texans.