Is America in a contest with itself for just how quickly (and cheaply) it can make its citizens obese?
As part of its constant desperation to remain relevant, Denny's has unveiled the Fried Cheese Melt: A sandwich consisting of two pieces of sourdough bread stuffed with four fried mozzarella sticks, covered with more cheese, and then fried.
Served atop a bed of golden fries and ringing in at just $4, the item is an addition to the company's revamped value menu. It's a miracle of gluttony, but not necessarily surprising in the midst of this Summer of Lub's lineup of sickening sandwiches. A whole swath of greasy concoctions has hit the market (and America's waistlines): Combined, the KFC Double-Down, Carl's Junior Footlong Cheeseburger and the Lasandwich amount to an oil slick on par with the BP Gulf disaster.
The competition is fierce in this category of kid-oriented consumerism. The reigning king of monster sandwiches is the 2,300 calorie Mac & Cheese Quesadilla at Friendly's. As a kid's meal, it's accompanied by a hot dog, Shirley Temple and peanut butter cup milkshake. What would Gracie Cavnar say?
Still, the ooey-gooey Fried Cheese Melt might be the best midnight cure after that massive bong hit. The only thing missing from the equation? Bacon.