The Houston Texans can't stop winning on the field — and losing in the bathroom.
Off to 2-0 start, having more than survived the drug-suspension loss of defensive leader Brian Crushing, the Texans have been dealt another blow by a player's inability to avoid getting caught by the NFL's hardly-Olympic-level drug testing. Left tackle Duane Brown — the man charged with protecting quarterback Matt Schaub's blind slide — received a four-game suspension today for failing a performance-enhancing drug test.
Brown will start his suspension immediately, which means he'll miss Sunday's game against an angry, desperate 0-2 Dallas team, and games against the Oakland Raiders, the New York Giants and Kansas City Chiefs. Cushing still has to sit out two more games in his suspension for failing a performance-enhancing drug test, putting two of the Texans' more important players out for both the Cowboys and Raiders games.
Unlike Cushing — who offered up some of the most bizarre excuses ever heard on a subject where scientifically implausible athlete excuses are something of the norm — Brown is not fighting his punishment. Instead, he's simply using one of the all-time favorite pro athlete explanations for a failed test: He unwittingly took a "tainted" supplement.
"First off, I want to personally apologize to (team owner Bob) McNair, coach (Gary) Kubiak and the rest of the coaching staff, my teammates, family and to all the great and loyal Texans fans," Brown said in a statement. "I take full responsibility for putting myself in this situation. I unknowingly took a supplement tainted with a banned substance and now have to deal with the consequences."
Mostly, Schaub and the Texans' offense figure to deal with the consequences against Cowboys pass-rushing extraordinaire DeMarcus Ware.