Wait, I'm confused . . . Where's Kalon?
For the first two weeks of The Bachelorette, we watched the Houston reality star fly circles around his rival suitors, doling out lines like "I wouldn't like me either if I were you, bro" and "I'm a young, fun, good-looking guy with a few dollars in my pocket."
Though episode three saw considerably less of our hometown hero, it did allow Kalon to make a nice splash when bachelorette Emily Maynard interrupted him during a conversation and prompted some of his best material to date: "While I love hearing you talk, I would love for you to let me finish."
"I like what I see in her and I see that there’s great potential," says potential new villain Ryan Bowers. "Then again, to be honest with you, I feel like I’m called to something bigger.”
Week four gave Helicopter Man as much time as screen time as California financial advisor Kyle or marine biologist Jean-Paul, leaving room for a new villain to rise — former Arena League football player Ryan Bowers.
With his folksy charm and country ways, Bowers was pushed as the perfect antidote to Kalon's flash and irreverence in the season opener. But with more than half of the contestants already eliminated, the semi-pro footballer is feeling comfortable enough to shed some of that seemingly-endless Southern chivalry.
“God has blessed me in a lot of ways,” he tells the camera in a brief interview. “I like what I see in [Emily] and I see that there’s great potential . . . Then again, to be honest with you, I feel like I’m called to something bigger.”
Um, something bigger, Ryan? You're going to have to elaborate.
“If it doesn't work out for me, I’m getting involved with the media back home. I’m going to say ‘Let’s do The Bachelor: Ryan,’" he clarifies for guitar-playing rehab counselor Michael during a quiet fireside chat. "I would be ready to open my heart up and it would be great for everybody to see.”