This week, I reached out for a Half-Pound Arbynator, the "most Arby's sandwich Arby's has ever made," available for a limited time only at, duh, Arby's, with 3,300 restaurants nationwide. This Arbynator is truly the Terminator of fast food sandwiches (hasta la vista, baby).
Roll the credits: a half-pound of Arby's iconic drive-thru roast beef, Cheddar cheese, Arby's sauce, Horsey Sauce, and a grabful of curly fries on a toasted sesame seed bun.
Total calories: 810. Fat grams: 42. Sodium: 2,700 mg. Carbs: 60 g. Dietary fiber: 4 g. Protein: 51 g. Manufacturer's suggested retail price: $8.99. The Arbynator also comes in wimpier models, Classic (560 calories, 35 fat grams) and Double (710 calories, 35 fat grams).
The Arbynator's headline grabber is slapping seasoned curly fries inside the bun on a sandwich. Like fast food denizens haven't been doing this since forever? I always put the hash browns patty on top of my Egg McMuffin with Egg at McDonald's. Primanti Bros. sandwich shops are a Pittsburg treasure, famous for putting fries on their works of art.
This is all-in-one eating — a towering mountain of meat and cheese and two different sauces. Bear in mind, you're getting a half-pound of meat, and that's not "pre-cooked" weight like the burger joints. Arby's roast beef is super lean. That's where double sauces do their work.
It's a drippy mess, all right, but a total appetite crusher. If you're an Arby's fan, this will send you over the moon, provided your engine can handle a heavy payload. Enjoy the fun watching eaters try to fit this in their mouth.
The Abynator is one more example of Arby's derring-do on the menu. In the past year, they've forked over sandwiches featuring deer meat, duck filets and deep-fried turkey.
And this year they pulled off the seemingly impossible, introducing a spokesman character ("for sandwiches!) who's even creepier than the Burger King's king.
The massive sandwich is set to go bye-bye on December 23, but since everything in the blueprint is already in the kitchen, look for it to become a favorite "secret menu" item.
Ken Hoffman reviews a new fast food restaurant item every Wednesday. Have a suggestion or a drive-thru favorite? Let Ken know on Twitter.