This week's Pethouse Pet of the Week has a lot to say about Joel Osteen, Jim Bakker, The World Clown Association, the Houston Rockets, and more.
Pethouse Pet of the Week
Name: Carlotta ... as in actress Carlotta Mercedes McCambridge, I know, that's a reach, because McCambridge never used her real first name. But when the shelter names a dog Carlotta, I have to dig deep. McCambridge had a big part in one of my favorite movies of all time, The Exorcist. She provided the voice of the demon who possessed actress Linda Blair's body. I still get the willies when I see that film.
Ethnicity: I'm a scruffy Boston Terrier mixed up girlie-girl. Hey, that's a great name for a dog - Scruffy! Feel free to call me Scruffy.
Birthdate: February 14, 2017. I'm still a baby, a Valentine's baby. So have a heart and adopt me.
Come and get it (great song by Paul McCartney): I’m available for adoption at Citizens for Animal Protection (17755 Katy Freeway; 281-497-0591) beginning Friday at 11 am.
Just when you thought a TV preacher couldn't put his foot in his mouth any deeper than Joel Osteen ("The city didn't ask us to be a shelter"), along comes disgraced televangelist and convicted felon Jim Bakker implying that the Lord punished Houston by unleashing the flood of Tropical Storm Harvey.
"I have felt, and I was afraid to share it with anybody, that this flood is from God," Bakker said. "It's a judgment on America somehow. Am I off? Do you remember what the Mayor of Houston did? She ordered all the preachers to turn in their sermons before they preached them."
In the middle of this quite crazy rant, of course Bakker was trying to sell something, this time a "Tasty Pantry Bucket" of freeze-dried food that's supposed to last 25 years for, you know, when the apocalypse comes.
My question, what is this bozo still doing on TV? I know, stupid question, fleecing the flock out of their money. I can't believe anybody would send a penny to this idiot.
Meanwhile, my offer to local TV stations stands. Next time Joel Osteen agrees to come on your station, call me, and I'll do the interview. I don't have any ties, or tithes, to Osteen or Lakewood Church. I promise not to laugh when he does that bit about "the city didn't ask us ... "
Speaking of Bozo
The World Clown Association is worried about the new Stephen King horror film, It. The clowns fear the scary film will present clowns in a negative light. According to a World Clown Association press release, "the character in the movie It should be understood to be a fantasy character, not a true clown."
The movie comes at a rough time for clowns, what with Ringling Bros. closing for good and those weird sightings of evil clowns last year. The only clown still doing big business, Fizbo on TV's sitcom "Modern Family."
But seriously, folks, there's such a thing as the World Clown Association? I thought this group went by a different name: U.S. Congress.
Billion Dollar Buyer
Tilman Fertitta will make a terrific owner of the Houston Rockets. He thinks big and that's the most important thing you want in a pro team owner. The only thing that would make this even better - if we could place a legal bet on the Rockets at one of Tilman's casinos. Come on, Texas Legislature, stop worrying about where people can pee-pee and legalize gambling. Do what the people want for a change.