Name: Honey, as in TV crime sleuth Honey West, Honey Bruce (Lenny's wife), the Beatles song "A Taste of Honey," John and Yoko's album Milk and Honey, and Texans defensive back Tyrann Mathieu, the Honey Badger. I'm pretty sure that former Channel 13 anchor Shara Fryer used to walk her dog, Honey, on my street.
Birthday: April 14, 2018. I'm the sweetest little gal at Citizens for Animal Protection. They don't call me Honey for nothing.
Ethnicity: I'm a shorty-coat Chihuahua mix. I love to cuddle and hang out with people. Are you a people? Then you and I were meant to be. Have you noticed how many TV commercials are using shelter dogs to sell cars and other products. Even Joe Gatto on Impractical Jokers wears a T-shirt saying "Adopt, Don't Shop," and he's not joking. Good for Joe. By the way, there's a new Impractical Jokers on TruTV tonight.
Come and get me: I'm available for adoption at 11 am Friday, August 3 at Citizens for Animal Protection (17555 Katy Freeway; 281-497-0591). Tell them, "Ken sent me."
Honey drippin' thoughts: Not Bitcoins ... Bitecoins. Starting today, McDonald's is giving away commemorative MacCoins celebrating a half-century of its iconic Big Mac. Customers buying a Big Mac will receive a MacCoin. There are five different MacCoins, each noting a decade that Big Macs have been around. McDonald's has minted 6.2 million MacCoins to cover the world, so don't dawdle. You can either collect and save the MacCoins, or redeem each one for a free Big Mac. Bottom line, it's a BOGO. Buy a Big Mac today, get a MacCoin, and trade it in for another Big Mac starting August 3.
Home shows are flippin' crazy
I couldn't say this before, but those fix-it and flip-it shows on HGTV, like most reality shows, are completely crazy. Let's take Fixer Upper, starring Chip and JoJo Gaines. They'll help a couple that bought a rundown house in the Waco area for, let's say, $200,000. That leaves $50,000 in their budget to renovate the dump. JoJo will say, "We'll put in a new kitchen for $15,000, new hardwood floors for $8,000, convert the attic to a playroom for $10,000, replace all the windows for $7,000, get a new roof for $5,000 and put in a pool for $5,000."
Really? All that for $50,000? They should fix houses in Orlando for those prices, because that's where Fantasy Land is. I had a brick loose in my front steps. Contractor said it would cost $55,000 to repair the brick, not counting material, labor, licenses and inspections. I know Houston is a more expensive place to live, but you're not even close, HGTV.
Not going to bat for Osuna
Yes, I think people can change. Yes, I think people deserve second chances. But I still wouldn't trust Michael Vick to dog sit Lilly and Dottie. And I wouldn't let a female family member date a man who "shows remorse" for a domestic violence incident. Wouldn't trade for him, either. There's a lot of other good guys, and relievers, out there.
Did you hear the local sports anchor who said, "George Springer was injured in the second inning and had to leave the game. They're in the 7th inning now and Springer still hasn't returned." Since I believe in second chances, let's give the sports anchor another shot at baseball rules.
Don't press "Tweet"
It's funny, sad, and pathetic watching pro athletes scramble to explain their old racist and other embarrassing tweets. I remember my old employer practically threatening me because I was the last one on social media. The only time I worry about a tweet is when I poke fun at Tiger Woods fans for thinking he has a chance of winning a major again ... and Tiger makes a run at the Open. If Tiger ever does win again (no chance), I'm going to catch hell from his fans and John Granato. Nothing that will make go back and delete tweets like dumb athletes with no brains, though.
Tyler: Come for the roses, stay for the custard
Found a Top 10 list of things to do in Tyler, Texas — like the Caldwell Zoo, the 1859 Goodman-LeGrand House and Museum, Tyler State Park, Tyler Rose Garden ... the usual. Wrong! The No. 1 reason to visit Tyler (and I visited several times for baseball tournaments) is the James Brownie Funky Jackhammer Concrete at Andy's Frozen Custard on S. Broadway.
Rice University scores second (!)
College Consensus just released its annual ranking of best colleges in Texas and the new No. 1 is ... Trinity University in San Antonio. Trinity beat out Rice and University of Texas at Austin for the top spot. U.S. News and World Report also rates Trinity as best in the west, also No. 1 for best value. Trinity is one of only three colleges on the National Register of Historic Places. And don't forget, Trinity won the D3 Baseball World Series in 2016. Which one of those accomplishments pleases me most?
Last week, I bought a package of Nathan's footlong hot dogs at HEB. I went to the bakery department for buns, but wound up getting too many. I miscounted the hot dogs ... again.
Dog lover? Ken Hoffman introduces you to an adorable pup available for adoption in Houston every Thursday.