Names: Honey, as in Honey West, Macca's Honey Pie, and John's version of "Honey Don't" from the Beatles' Hamburg days. Hazel as in MLB Network anchor Hazel Mae and Hazel, the '60s sitcom starring Shirley Booth.
Yes, we have a two-fer this week: two very special pups for one low, low price. (I know, I'm starting to sound like Mattress Mack. If you don't want to let Honey and Hazel on the bed, that's up to you. But I've got a hunch both of them will be sleeping the night away next to you within one week.)
Birthdates: April 4, 2018. They're twin sisters, and ain't they the cutest? If they ever do an all-dog remake of The Parent Trap, I'm sniffing Oscars for Honey and Hazel. Hey, it won't take much to top Lindsay Lohan's performance in the 1999 remake. We were cool with Hayley Mills' job in the original, though.
Ethnicity: Honey and Hazel are natural blonde Retriever mixed-up ladies. They both weigh about 30 pounds, and they shouldn't get much bigger, except they were brought in as strays and probably weren't eating high-quality dog food on the streets. So they may gaining a pound or two. But aren't we all?
My heart breaks when I see strays roaming the streets — unloved, neglected, and frightened. Here's your chance to take an extra helping of love and devotion home. Honey and Hazel are angels, and everybody can't stop petting and hugging them at Citizens for Animal Protection.
Honey is sweet, and Hazel is a little comedian. I am 1,000 times better than eharmony.com when it comes to picking perfect matches, and I see you and Honey and Hazel traipsing through life together. Just so you know, both pooches will be spayed, given an A-plus physical by a vet, shampooed, and shined when they walk out that door with you.
Come and get me: I'm available for adoption at 11 am Friday, July 19, at Citizens for Animal Protection (17555 Katy Freeway; 281-497-0591). Tell them, "Ken sent me."
Dog lover? Ken Hoffman introduces you to an adorable pup available for adoption in Houston every Thursday.