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Double divas? Corpse Flower Lois makes room for a baby sister with blooming thoughts

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Corpse Flower Lois wasn't expecting a little sister to roll into town. Courtesy of Schipul The Web Marketing Co.
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My infant sibling. Courtesy of The Web Marketing Co.
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News_Corpse flower_CultureMap_Steven
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There's a new member of the greenhouse family at the Houston Museum of Natural Science: Another corpse flower! While I'm never one to share the spotlight, I've kept busy making preparations for the one-year anniversary of the launch of revolutionary Twitter account on Tuesday (I say we attach it to Bastille Day on Thursday and call this entire week a mandatory holiday).

Still, dealing with the larger family has introduced a few trials. As soon as her terra cotta highness strolled into the greenhouse, the seeds of jealousy were planted. I found myself framing my sibling for petty crimes and putting her up for sale on eBay (no bids).

Needless to say, horticulturalist Zac Stayton was not amused when I stole his car keys and locked the new flower in the backseat during a week-long spree at Urban Retreat. I've been yearning for the Friday launch of Mixers & Elixirs, so I could return to the company of my potty trained peers.

But I'm learning to share. Meanwhile, I've been recruited to spread the word that the new flora is lacking a proper moniker. So, it's up to my millions of fans to suggest a fitting name.

 As soon as her terra cotta highness strolled into the greenhouse, the seeds of jealousy were planted. I found myself framing my sibling for petty crimes and putting her up for sale on eBay (no bids). 

To get in your two cents, leave a comment on the HMNS blog. Entries are due by Friday. On July 18, the finalists will be posted, at which point you can vote for your favorite. The name will be announced on my bloomday, July 25.

I know I'm a queen, but I thoroughly endorse this democratic plan. Best of all, the contributor of the winning entry will receive a tour of my celebrity lair. It'll be like an episode of Lifestyles of the Stinky and Famous. I'm even including a free museum membership.

Here are some personal, unofficial ground rules for candidates:

  • No double names; that's trashy.
  • The more accents in the name, the better.
  • The name "Clark" is out. I've already had enough legal run-ins with Marvel Comics.
  • No duplicates of my staff, past and present. That includes Zac, Diego, Ellie and my astrologist Kelli.
  • No gemstones (Diamond, Amethyst, Amber, etc.).

Time will tell what role the lil corpse flower will play in the local social circuit. Will she be like Solange Knowles, the quirky younger sister of Beyoncé whose career was dashed thanks to an unwanted teenage pregnancy? Or will she be the Hilary Duff to my Haley, and eclipse my seemingly unattainable level of celebrity? Will she ever bloom?

Surely her name will play some factor in her destiny. Choose wisely.

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