Hoffman's Houston
Pet of the Week

Pet of the week Vex on why the airline middle seat is the absolute worst

Pet of the week Vex on why the airline middle seat is the worst

Pet of the Week - Vex Ken Hoffman
Don't let the name fool you: Vex is loads of fun.  Courtesy photo

Name: Vex, as in ... where does Citizens for Animal Protection come up with these names? It's not like these strays get picked up with a driver's license and birth certificate in their fanny packs. It's really vexing.

Birthday: Feb. 24, 2018. I'm barely out of diapers, so you're getting a beautiful puppy, with everything that comes along with a beautiful puppy.

Ethnicity: I'm a foxy Foxhound. Just take one look at me. Now that the Miss America Pageant has been reduced to a spelling bee (a step up from what it was), the Westminster Dog Show is officially the best beauty pageant in the U.S. — not counting morning news shows in Houston. I weigh 30 pounds, so I may be a plus-size model when I, let's say, fill out. I'm tons of fun and full of energy. I love playing with humans and other animals, especially kids over eight. I'm ready for obedience training, and, get this: all CAP dogs get 50-percent off the regular fee at Rover Oaks in Katy. But truth be told, I mostly love to sit with a family and watch TV and do a whole lot of nothing.

Come and get me: I'm available for adoption at 11 am Friday at Citizens for Animal Protection (17555 Katy Freeway; 281-497-0591). Tell them, "Ken sent me."

Vex's visions: Fond farewell to Rachel McNeill, Channel 2 morning anchor and happy wake-up call. Also my neighbor in sparkling West U. McNeill is moving to Phoenix where her big shot doctor husband is taking a huge job. Good luck to both of them, and their boys. 

Hey, I used to live in Phoenix before moving to Houston in the late '80s. I could use a favor, Rachel. I lived on Thomas Road, by 46th Street. It was a gray house with green trim around the windows. I think I left a pair of black Nike tennis shoes in the garage. Can you take a look and see if they're still there?

Now, as Jay Leno used to say, what's my beef? I was in New York this week to judge the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. You may have heard about a slight mishap in the judging.

Shakes on a plane
Anyway, let's open the complaint window about something more important. We all have our quirks and phobias, right? Mine happens to be ... I have to sit in an aisle seat on a plane. If I'm by a window or stuck in the middle, I will freak out. I can't do it.  It's just me.

So, coming back, I noticed that the airline assigned me a middle seat. No good. I was already getting the shakes. I called the airline, and they said the plane was full, etc. etc. and only middle seats were available for the price I paid in economy.

Okay, how much extra to get an aisle seat? Answer: $165 for an aisle seat in economy plus. I'll take it, gave my credit card number, got my seat assignment, the whole thing.

I get to the airport, hit the kiosk for my boarding pass — I'm still stuck in the middle seat. Off to customer relations.
"Sorry, our records don't show that you reserved a seat in Economy Plus. No record of anything like that."

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some phone calls to make to get my $165 back. I have two hours set aside this afternoon for staying on hold. 

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Dog lover? Ken Hoffman introduces you to an adorable pup available for adoption in Houston every Thursday.