Name: Khloe, as in reality show whiner Khloe Kardashian. Feel free to change my name to someone with an ounce of real talent.
Birthdate: December 12, 2012. I'm a middle-age lady (for a dog), and you know what they say about us "experienced" gals ... we're the perfect combination of wisdom, experience and vitality.
Ethnicity: I'm a Retriever and Boxer combo platter, with emphasis on Boxer. Ain't I a beaut'? So stately, so strong, yet with a tender, loving side. I weigh a trim 48 pounds and I love, love, love being petted. I enjoy walks and a good sense of humor (what is this, a Match.com profile?) and playing.
I know several commands like sit, stay, come, off — the usual. I will do best in a home where I'm the only pet. I'm housebroken and will let you know when I have to go. I'm like Cindy Crawford, young for my age. If you didn't check my driver's license, you'd think I was a puppy.
Come and get me: I'm available for adoption at 11 am Friday, January 18 at Citizens for Animal Protection (17555 Katy Freeway; 281-497-0591). Tell them, "Ken sent me."
Khloe's comments: Hey, whatever happened to those state and national "Do Not Call Lists?" They were supposed to eliminate bothersome, annoying telemarketer calls. If you signed up and still got a telemarketer call, the telemarketer would be fined something like a billion dollars. I signed up. I'm getting more telemarketer calls than ever. No wonder Congress can't get the government open. They can't get scammers to stop calling me.
If Drew Brees (40 years old) and the Saints win Sunday, and Tom Brady (40 years old) and the Patriots win Sunday, this will be the headline in every newspaper's sport section come Monday: "A Super Bowl for the Ages." You watch, I'll be right. Low-hanging fruit.
Sam Houston Race Park has released its events schedule for 2019. Those zany Camel & Ostrich races will be held on two nights, March 15-16. Wiener Dog (Dachshunds) Racing will be March 30 and May 25. Corgi Racing will be March 9 and April 27. Chihuahua Races will be February 9. Almost forgot, there will be live horse racing starting January 25. For a complete schedule of races, concerts, food specials (say hello to Papa John's), and other attractions, visit the site.
Dog lover? Ken Hoffman introduces you to an adorable pup available for adoption in Houston every Thursday.